I grew up in a poverty-stricken, dark, superstitious, patriarchal environment. It was difficult not to be cynical. Fortunately, I had a grandfather who loved me. He was the only person in this family who made me feel warm and affectionate. My grandfather always worked hard to guide me towards a bright and prosperous road. Therefore, I did not become a pervert, paranoid, or extremely dangerous person. There is more and more warmth, and my view of the gray world gradually decreases, and there are more and more bright colors. Just when I was trying to break away from this gray and dark quagmire and return to the embrace of the light, the thread that tied me was broken, and my grandfather died, pushing me directly into the arms of the God of Demons and embarking on a road of no return. Maybe my grandfather's death just gave me an excuse to go on the wrong path, because it is much harder and more burdensome to follow the right path than the evil path. I don't regret taking this extreme path, because I don't want to believe that good people are rewarded. I only believe in rights and money. I want to hold the throat of fate, control my own destiny, stand on the top of the pyramid, and overlook life! Different choices lead to different fates. The things that I worked hard and tried my best to protect were eventually destroyed by my own hands. I calculated everything carefully and worked step by step, and the final result was nothing more than this: betrayal and alienation, hurting those who love me and those I love, and hurting countless strangers! It's the yearning and guilt I feel for my grandfather, and the heartache and helpless feeling that I want to support my son but my father is not here. This is the most regretful thing in my life. This is a story about a person who wants to be filial to his grandfather, who wants to get maternal love, but cannot, and a red heart slowly turns black and hard! So friends, cherish the time you spend with your family, go home more often, and don't always make excuses to say you are busy. When you are not busy that day, when you think of them, they may be gone when you look back. They are not still there waiting for you every time you look back. That's how I was back then. I always said I was busy and would definitely go home next time. My grandfather passed away one of the countless times. Can you understand that feeling? Why do I work so hard and for what purpose? It is to make money and be filial to my grandfather. When I succeed, the filial person is no longer there. I am so sad. The saddest thing in the world is here.