Time is the best drug. The longer it goes, the harder it is to let go.
It's the addictive nicotine in cigarettes.
Before touching it, sneer at it. But once infected, there is only endless partiality towards it.
So please don't accept things you are unfamiliar with easily.
Otherwise, you will only sink deeper and deeper and end up with nothing.
Or, you are determined enough, but you will also pay some price to escape unscathed.
Nothing in the world can be said to be extreme or desperate enough.
All that can be said is probably personal exhaustion, malaise, freedom and despair.