Dust, in fact we are all using each other. The ambiguity left in the transaction is unreal. You don't understand your attitude. I am a person who has never tried feelings. I really want to love someone, but I am already afraid. There is no place to express the hurts on the ground. I can only bury them in the deepest part of my heart, hoping that one day they will be corrupted. I had nothing from the beginning to the end, only the past that I couldn't bear to look back on, the numbness in my heart, the broken and disabled body, and the sorrow that had always been with me. What else did I have, no purity, no kindness, I couldn't afford to lose, and my heart was withered. That night you poured yourself a glass of green plum wine, and you asked me, "What kind of person are you?" I smiled at you, but didn't answer. I asked in my mind: Am I still a human being? I said, I have no heart. That year of snowfall, I was so cold and tired. I really wanted to sleep. I had forgotten how many years ago I couldn't sleep. Now, how does it feel to sleep? I seem to have forgotten. I'm so tired, Chen. If one day I don't wake up as soon as I fall asleep, don't wake me up. I'm just tired. Let Yousang carry me. I'll wake up when I've had enough sleep. I want to sleep for the rest of my life. Isn't it greedy? Chen, I don't know if I love you, I don't know the taste of feelings, but I know that I can't live without you, I rely on you, just like I can't live without Yousang and rely on Yousang. The things I do for you are not all for you. I am very selfish. I am afraid that the day I die, the world will be like normal without any trace of me. I am bad, right? I think too much about everything, and I don't give up until my head is about to explode and I can't think about it anymore. Chen, I still want to say a lot to you. I'm not really bad, I'm just too lonely. Chen, in your eyes, am I like a snake or scorpion? In fact, I'm more poisonous than a snake or scorpion. Where do I stand in your heart... I still have many things to tell you, many questions to ask you, and many grievances I want to tell you, but you can't hear them all, but you will never hear them again, forever...