I have always been ignorant. I thought that to truly love someone, you should love everything about them and everything they love. Not letting go of attachment makes her suffer, not letting go of self-disturbing makes her feel guilty. Love her. Love her. Love her. Let her fly to her paradise. When everything became a foregone conclusion, I realized that I was just a cruel bystander, watching her fly towards the evil fire of hell and disappear into ashes.
I think I'm probably going to die of old age. My life seems glorious and upright, but only those waiting for me in hell know about my nightmare. My nightmare. My fear. It may make people laugh if I say it. Even though I am about to die, I am more afraid of darkness and ghosts than a young child.
It's not that I'm afraid they'll come out to claim their lives, or scare people, or something like that.
I'm just afraid that she will come out of the darkness dressed in white and tell me that it doesn't matter. She is fine. Let me not feel guilty or blame myself, live well and love the world.