When we are over 18 years old, can we still think about the innocent dreams of childhood? When we inadvertently recall that our childhood selves were so sharp, but our current selves seem to have lost their edges and corners due to reality, so we often ask ourselves, where are we in the past? This should not be regarded as just a gay novel, but a story about the pain I have personally experienced. We are the product of the lack of sex education in China, but we are often not forgiven. The novel describes the growth of a little boy and the conflicts with his family. He is sensitive, and the slightest worry makes him unable to breathe. However, he always believes that one day he will meet someone to rely on, and he keeps searching to make himself strong. That's me. Just like Cao Xueqin wrote "A Dream of Red Mansions" after reviewing it for ten years, adding and deleting five times, and wrote a quatrain for it: "The paper is full of absurd words, and there are a handful of bitter tears. It is said that the author is crazy, who can understand the meaning." He wrote it to his lost youth, and to the children in the society who love the world as much as I do. Love bravely and believe that there are roses behind thorns.