She has never known what life is, because her family doesn't know it, and they don't want to know it. Being confused is the best state of life. Why bother thinking about the past? The past will eventually end, and the future will be impossible. Maybe end up comparing yourself. She met many versions of him, but she didn't know who was the real him. It's better not to get close, lest you hurt innocent people. There are only high and low levels in people, and she is the lower level among the high levels. I have lived so long and still don't know what I look like. The process of transformation is really tiring