"Sometimes when walking on the road, the street lights will suddenly light up with a 'bang' sound, and then spread from behind to the end of the line of sight. Whenever this happens, I will feel inexplicable fear. To be precise, it is the fear of getting cold. I don't understand why such an obviously warm color brings me such a sense of discomfort.
Just like what I experienced when I wrote this suicide note. I don't understand why those things I longed for brought me so many times more pain when they actually came into my hands.
Maybe when I leave you, you will hate me for being cruel or selfish. Maybe you will feel regret or sadness because I have left too little in your life.
Shh. All quiet.
Now that I can write such a letter calmly, it proves that you don't need to hate or regret anything. I am grateful that there are people in this world who are worthy of me writing this letter. Although there are not many, I never feel unsatisfied.
I think the passing of every life has a different meaning. I don't want to admit that I am secretly happy about this, but in the morning, I actually feel a sense of relief. I have written all the years between you and me here.
Finally, it's great to see you again soon. "
Song Ze