Poignant love story
Occurs before Hong Kong's return to China
Because I am studying
I wrote the story a little more concisely
But the storyline is absolutely wonderful
You'll know when you see it
Give me some advice
Don't just finish reading and it'll be fine
Intention:
Reader comments
I specialize in optical photography. I know that others did not pay attention, and I also wrote it wrong. It should be called "Learn to Shoot Bricks", so I changed it and asked the administrator to delete the previous short review. Thank you!
I am not good at writing myself, but I also want to learn how to write comments.
The so-called "watching the formation clearly" and being a fan of the formation. After reading your article, I would like to talk about the following points. The purpose is to help you. It may not be just right. I hope you will change it if you have it, and add or exempt it if not.
1. The content of the article is relevant and the idea is good, but you can also explain the mood of the heroine when traveling and the scenery.
2. Pay attention to the use of punctuation, such as:
1. "Why does the return of his daughter make him so happy?" It should be a rhetorical question using "?"
2. "Can I come in if my daughter is a father?" I was happy after reading this sentence, which seemed to mean "my daughter is a father". "Daughter, can I come in?" Needless to say it was the father, the daughter could also hear it.
3. "Xiaoyu, I have to tell you something, what do you think of Zhang Jing." It's not clear whether this sentence was said to Dad and Xiaoyu, or whether Xiaoyu said to her father, "Xiaoyu, I have to tell you something, what do you think of Zhang Jing." It will be clear if you add a punctuation mark after Xiaoyu.
3. Some sentences are not very appropriate. For example:
1. "But Wang Jing loves Yu'er very much." Who is Wang Jing referring to here?
2. "Dad, I'm back; Yu'er who just walked in looks a little tired." The "" in this sentence is inappropriate. It should be: "Dad, I'm back." Yu'er who just walked in looks a little tired.
3. "Ah, my good daughter, I miss my dad so much; come on, let me see, girl, you have lost weight, why are you not used to life in France?" There is no need to say "my good daughter" in front of this sentence, and there is no need to say "girl, you have lost weight" after it. You can use "Oh! You have lost some weight, why are you not used to life in France?" Use surprise to express your attention and concern for your daughter.
4. "Xiaoyu, I have to tell you something. What do you think of Zhang Jing?" This sentence should be followed by an explanation. Dad came in and said it, he said it while walking, or he said it before he came in. If there is no explanation, you will not know under what circumstances the two people are talking. It is best to add a description of expressions and actions at the end of the dialogue, or explain the circumstances under which the words are spoken.
4. Pay attention to the wording, for example: "has been" should be changed to "thought", and "barren mountains and wild lands" should be changed to "barren mountains and wild ridges".
I will just say these few points for reference.
There are many good articles in Jinjiang. I hope you can learn more and write more and write better articles. Although I don't know who you are yet, I will support you.
Wan Geng, awesome, rub your head
Dg gd gdd gigp needs to be changed
Haha~~~~~~laughing~~~~~What a coincidence. My online name is also called Backlight.
You have to keep working hard~~~~~Don't be scared~~sweat~~~`
Although it really sucks, but to put it ruthlessly like everyone else, it's really...
But keep up the good work!
I specialize in optical photography. I know that others did not pay attention, and I also wrote it wrong. It should be called "Learn to Shoot Bricks", so I changed it and asked the administrator to delete the previous short review. Thank you! I am not good at writing myself, but I also want to learn how to write comments. The so-called "watching the formation clearly" and being a fan of the formation. After reading your article, I would like to talk about the following points. The purpose is to help you. It may not be just right. I hope you will change it if you have it, and add or exempt it if not. 1. The content of the article is relevant and the idea is good, but you can also explain the mood of the heroine when traveling and the scenery. 2. Pay attention to the use of punctuation, such as: 1. "Why does the return of his daughter make him so happy?" It should be a rhetorical question using "?" 2. "Can I come in if my daughter is a father?" I was happy after reading this sentence, which seemed to mean "my daughter is a father". "Daughter, can I come in?" Needless to say it was the father, the daughter could also hear it. 3. "Xiaoyu, I have to tell you something, what do you think of Zhang Jing." It's not clear whether this sentence was said to Dad and Xiaoyu, or whether Xiaoyu said to her father, "Xiaoyu, I have to tell you something, what do you think of Zhang Jing." It will be clear if you add a punctuation mark after Xiaoyu. 3. Some sentences are not very appropriate. For example: 1. "But Wang Jing loves Yu'er very much." Who is Wang Jing referring to here? 2. "Dad, I'm back; Yu'er who just walked in looks a little tired." The "" in this sentence is inappropriate. It should be: "Dad, I'm back." Yu'er who just walked in looks a little tired. 3. "Ah, my good daughter, I miss my dad so much; come on, let me see, girl, you have lost weight, why are you not used to life in France?" There is no need to say "my good daughter" in front of this sentence, and there is no need to say "girl, you have lost weight" after it. You can use "Oh! You have lost some weight, why are you not used to life in France?" Use surprise to express your attention and concern for your daughter. 4. "Xiaoyu, I have to tell you something. What do you think of Zhang Jing?" This sentence should be followed by an explanation. Dad came in and said it, he said it while walking, or he said it before he came in. If there is no explanation, you will not know under what circumstances the two people are talking. It is best to add a description of expressions and actions at the end of the dialogue, or explain the circumstances under which the words are spoken. 4. Pay attention to the wording, for example: "has been" should be changed to "thought", and "barren mountains and wild lands" should be changed to "barren mountains and wild ridges". I will just say these few points for reference. There are many good articles in Jinjiang. I hope you can learn more and write more and write better articles. Although I don't know who you are yet, I will support you.
Wan Geng, awesome, rub your head
Dg gd gdd gigp needs to be changed
Haha~~~~~~laughing~~~~~What a coincidence. My online name is also called Backlight. You have to keep working hard~~~~~Don't be scared~~sweat~~~`
Although it really sucks, but to put it ruthlessly like everyone else, it's really... But keep up the good work!