Standing on the Tail of 19 Years Old

Inscription: In this year, those details that corrode people's spirits, those frustrations that undermine confidence, those silent tears at midnight, and those idle weekends, all did exist. There are some unforgettable moments and some unforgettable names that have grown up with me. I saw a year's time surging and rising in the palm of my hand, and finally calming down, leaving indelible traces and years as gentle as water. Borges said that among the generations of roses scattered at the end of time, I hope there is one among them that can be saved from our forgetfulness. I would like to follow the rhythm of growth and the fragments of memory, pick the most splendid ones, and record the 19-year-old that has slowly passed through my fingers. Just like the opening chapter of Grimm's fairy tale - "In that age when dreams can still come true", at that time I was still in a youth so delicate that I could drip water (a little shameless), holding on to naive expectations for the future (thinking that real life is a replica of idol dramas), at the age of 19, I stood on tiptoe and carefully touched the love I encountered by chance. Later, after the gap between ideal and reality once again exposed my original vulnerability, I realized that in the past ten years, all I had was a simple youth filled with too many unrealistic beautiful fantasies. All this time, I had been so lonely and ignorant. Before that, I had accumulated all my girlish feelings and waited for love to touch my heart. Young girls always long for love. With an excited and fragile heart, I held it in my hand like a handful of flowing gold sand. I hoped that someone would take good care of me, almost a kind of begging, but that person never showed up. I have touched the edge of 20 years old, but I am still a shameful blank emotionally, which makes me feel a little bit frustrated. Finally, my belated and ignorant feelings fully opened up in the early summer when I was 19 years old. When summer came, I completely immersed myself in the trance of early spring and was at a loss. We met online, on a forum to be precise, and frankly on our department's forum. He is the well-deserved king of irrigation, and he is just about to be crowned. Because his views are radical and he likes to tease Mozhu (the one that made me laugh the most was a post titled "Giving Mozhu "The Last Coke" as a holiday gift. When I opened it, I saw a funny villain using rap to curse Mozhu's FLASH, and the ending sentence was "A bird like you is worthy of being Mozhu?!" Which made my abdominal muscles grow strong with laughter), so the number of 3 posts and the number of posts are also high. I am the most despised person on the Internet who reads posts but never replies. I often move a sofa to watch him use witty and sharp words to engage in verbal battles with others. His humor was a left hook, and most of the people who were punched were completely bruised. I enjoyed watching it and secretly wrote down his ID. Late one weekend late at night, we were the only two people on the forum. Driven by curiosity, I cautiously sent a text message asking him if he was a senior in the department - and that's how we got acquainted. He always stayed up all night and stayed online. I always used to brush my teeth with one hand in the early morning and press the switch of the main unit with the other hand. Then I would wake up with the first cup of coffee and say good morning to him while washing my face. The content of our conversation was very trivial and gradually faded away, but it is undeniable that he is an interesting person. Going online to see if he is online has become my expectation. Since we are classmates from the same school, then—— "One morning, We must have watched, The eyes of the same flying bird. On a certain road, We must have picked it up, The fallen leaves under the same tree. In the same darkness, We must have searched together, The clear Venus above our head. When dusk comes, We must have imagined, The same kind of light. " I couldn't help but wonder about his appearance curiously. After denying the possibility of BRAD PIT and Louis Koo appearing in our school, a vague outline popped into my mind, carrying a sense of mystery. To this day, I still can't explain why I intuitively thought of him for a moment - a stranger whom I met once by chance under the introduction of the little boy SAM who was a foreign teacher.