My work experience over the years has not been smooth, because I am not a very motivated person. I have neither a sharp vision nor a clear mind, but I have a strong inertia and a bad temper.
I can't change the environment, nor can I change myself. I know that my persistence is only because of fear, fear of losing my job, fear of disappointment and worry from my parents, and I don't want to lose Xiaobai because of this.
However, I just can't convince myself to compromise. Even though I'm not used to this environment, I still have to force myself to accept it and tell myself that this is the right thing to do. I don't know how long I can hold on, but I know that time is not forgiving. I once thought that I was very young and still had a lot of time and opportunities, but now I find that the years are passing really fast, really fast. If I don't do more things while I am young and find my true foothold, I will soon be swept into a corner, forgotten by others, and even cast aside.
Thanks to Xiaobai for being kind to me and always staying by my side, even though I always provoke him. It was he who told me that life is not easy, and it was he who told me to face life with the right attitude. Although I still haven't found the right way to live my life, I believe I have met the right person.