This book is also called [Modern Mandala]..
The heroine is a girl who grew up with her mommy without a father. She is independent because she has to pay off her mommy's gambling debts since she was a child. She is miserable because she often goes hungry for money since she was a child. She is very kind. Even if someone treats her like a snake or scorpion, she will forgive because she knows that people are inherently good at first... But until that day, the day she faced death. , She realized that her so-called kindness was cowardice... That made her become like that, so she vowed to become stronger. From then on, she did not believe in love, she did not believe in fairy tales, she hated... So she came back with hatred... It is definitely grief, it is definitely sadomasochism... It told me that she hated, it told me that she loved, and it finally told me that she could only leave...