Mantra

A leaky rental house during the rainy season. Yu Yan stuffed his luggage into the old box and was ready to leave at any time. Fang Yizhou was as silent as a stone. He opened the door and came in, with the rain dripping down his chin. They didn't talk, the walls were too thin, and you could hear them breathing heavily. When Yu Yan turned over in the middle of the night, the bed next door made a sound, and then became quieter - Fang Yizhou was waiting for him to fall asleep again. No one said anything. Yu Yan dug out his discarded takeout order from the trash can. There are sketches on the back, all showing his profile, sleeping face, and frowning eyebrows. The pencil marks were very light, and when I turned over them one by one, each one called his name. Fang Yizhou was as silent as the deep sea. The bottom of the deep sea was full of light, and the light merged into one shape - Yu Yan. Power outage during typhoon night. After squeezing into a bed, Yu Yan woke up from a nightmare. Fang Yizhou's arms were silently pulled up, and his palms were so hot that his spine arched. In the darkness, he asked, "Why do you never call me by my name?" Fang Yizhou's lips pressed against the back of his neck for a long time. "I screamed in my heart. Many times." Later Yu Yan was laid off. When I dug out the orphanage's portfolio, there were two empty lines in the "Parents" column. Fang Yizhou handed over the household registration book, and on the last page it read: "Yu Yan. Relationship with the head of the household: family member." The tip of the pen scratched the paper. Yu Yan said it didn't count. Fang Yizhou knelt down on one knee and looked at him levelly: "I have the final say in this book. I also have the final say in your life." Yu Yan smiled, stretched out his hand and grasped the drawstring of his sweater: "Fang Yizhou. Fang Yizhou, Fang Yizhou, Fang Yizhou." Each sound was softer than the last. Fang Yizhou closed his eyes, put his lips against his forehead, and the hot air flow trembled out two words—— "Yu Yan." He never called anyone else again. Yu Yan called him and he answered. Yu Yan had a fever and called him nonsense, and he held the person in his arms all night long. Yu Yan lost control under him, biting his shoulder and screaming. Every time he came in and out, it was on the same frequency as that syllable. He drew three hundred sketches of "Yu Yan", peeled it into the core of each lychee, wrote it into the scratched paper of the household registration book, and burned it into the hot kiss on the typhoon night. Yu Yan's mantra is "No need" - no need to be nice to him, no need to care about him, no need to love him. But Fang Yizhou didn't listen. He can only call him Yu Yan. From the first sight until death. Intention: "Don't use" is for fear of being indebted, "Don't tell" is for fear of being scared away. But once the name is released from the lips, it is an anchor that can never be taken back. Two people who were short of love finally fell on each other's tongues.