Shi Nian has been doing the same thing since the red cotton jacket that was laughed at in the third grade of elementary school - waiting.
Waiting for my mother to come back from abroad. Wait for her father to take another look at her. Wait for the boy you like to come back.
She didn't know it was called "Xingyuan Brain". She only knew that there must always be a "him" in her world. When there is no "him", the empty hole in my heart will leak.
In her third year of junior high school, she had a crush on a boy, and she didn't let him know about her crush until her graduation day. In her third year of high school, she wrote countless unsent messages to the boy in the next class. In order to see him more, she studied Japanese and art. In the end, she wrote a long letter of 2,000 words, in exchange for "idiot".
She thought she was not good enough, beautiful enough, gentle enough, and not worthy of being liked.
Until the winter of her senior year of high school, she was crushed. Art training, college entrance examination pressure, and extreme tension with her mother - she couldn't open her mouth or make a sound in the classroom. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, took the wrong medicine, cried and laughed, and eventually ran away from school and home.
During that time, she argued with her mother every day, causing neighbors to knock on the door. She thought about jumping off the stairs. She thought it would be better if she died.
Until one day, she fell into a river. In that minute underwater, her body made the choice before she did—she fought her way up.
After being fished out, she realized that she didn't want to die. She just doesn't know how to live.
This is a girl's growth history spanning ten years. About left-behind children, about unspeakable love, about the years of hiding herself, about a river, and after climbing out of the river, she finally decided to write everything down.
Concept: In the absence of her native family, a girl with a "sexual brain" hears her voice wanting to live for the first time after being repeatedly injured.