Duji

What Shen Du fears most in his life is not knowing who he is. General Xiao Huaibi died in battle three hundred years ago, and it was his destiny to "awaken" while kneeling in the ancestral hall every night. He has the general's scar, the general's memory, and the string that the general's fiancée broke on the tower. He drinks a bowl of tea every day, and the tea contains the "past life" he should remember. In seventeen years, he never doubted that he was fake for a day - until he peeked into the file when he was seven years old and discovered that he was an orphan picked up from the street. But he chose to continue drinking the bowl of tea. Because the fake Xiao Huaibi at least has an origin. Really Shendu, there is nothing. When Ji Shuang came, he brought a piano and a secret order from the court. She wants to find out the irrefutable evidence of the "soul creation" of the Yusheng class, and she can be punished within three months. Her mission was to peel Shen Du apart to see if he was an unconscious fake or a knowing scam. She sat opposite him and played "Guangling San", and his fingers stopped for a beat above the palace string - deliberately hitting a wrong note. What he was hiding from, she didn't know. She only knew that when those eyes looked at her, there was fog in them. The fog was very thin, but she was suddenly afraid of what would be underneath when the fog cleared. She shouldn't be afraid. She was here to tear him down. The cleaner it is, the better. But when she found the soul in the tea, she didn't write it in the secret report. She mixed licorice into the medicine dregs to make the "memories" that had been poured into it begin to loosen. Then she saw the thing that he had forgotten for seventeen years - the pomegranate tree, the enamel basin, and the woman's back to him when she peeled the beans and shouted "A Qi". She recognized the hands. That was her mother Shuangjiang's hand. Shuangjiang waited for Xiao Huaibi all his life. Before he died, he entrusted his daughter to Mrs. Shen and said: Wait for me. The person who waits waits all his life, and the person who is waited for becomes another person. Mrs. Shen waited for Shuangjiang and made a fake Xiao Huabi for her. She used bowl after bowl of resurrected souls to crush Shen Du into someone else's shadow. And Shen Du knew it at the age of seven - he knew everything. He just didn't dare to stop. Stop, he's not even a shadow. "I know," he said. On the day she laid out all the evidence in front of him, he looked at her and said these two words. I knew it at seven years old. Twenty-two years old and still drinking. Because he wanted to get those hands that called him "A Qi" back from under the medicine. But when all the lies are shattered, is it really safe? Shen Du found that his body was covered with Frost's blood - his real name was Shen Du, and he was not a reincarnation. He is Shuangsheng's nephew. His mother took out his life from the secret hole. The man fell two steps away, and his last words were "You have to live." He lived for twenty-two years, and all his life belonged to others. Then he made a decision that no one could stop. He went to Songling Pass. The place where Xiao Huaibi died in battle. He is going to finish that road for all those who have not finished it. He had been waiting for frost on the tower for a lifetime, Old Mrs. Shen who had been piling walnuts for a lifetime, and his own mother who had fallen two steps away - he finished the walk for them. Use the only clean life he can make his own decision to finish. On the day he left, he put Qinsui into Ji Shuang's hand. She said you can't come back. He said he would come back to you. Whether it is a dream, reincarnation, or becoming a new leaf growing on the locust tree next spring. She asked him: "What do you want to be in your next life?" He thought for a long time. Then he smiled and said: "I will not be a general in my next life. I will be your piano. I will play whatever you play. If you press me, I will make a sound. If you stop, I will not play." He died at Songling Pass. She held her harp in her hand. Old soldier Zhao came to his mouth and heard the last half of his words. The voice was so broken that the spelling was incomplete, but the last few words were clear - "This time, I chose it myself." Ji Shuang put the harp into her purse. Inside the purse was a torn and sticky note, which she wrote: "He is not looking for himself. What he is looking for is the person who can make him become himself." She later played the harp under the locust tree for twenty years. Every year on the day of frost, a thin layer of white frost falls on the trees, as if someone has quietly come and sat down at night. No one saw who was coming. But she said she knew. ——This is a story about how a fake can become the real thing. ——A man spent twenty-two years pretending to be someone else, and finally used his own death to turn that false "legend" into reality. ——The only original thing in his life was a wrong note on the palace string. The only time you are yourself is when you choose to die where you choose. The gold is wrong with the sword, and the sword is broken. The one that broke was the one that someone else had connected for him. His own one was flicked at the last moment. The sound was very soft. But she was listening. She is listening. Intention: The intention is three-level progression - the surface level is the confusion of identity: how a created fake can find his true self; the middle level is the debate of memory: whether the fake memory that has been poured can give rise to true emotions, and whether a person's choice to believe a lie is considered a kind of truth; the bottom level is the weight of choice: when a person's name to destiny are all other people's, he uses his final death to complete his first "own choice" - this choice itself is the deepest resistance to living. The final question of the book is: If everything is false, is the "impulse" to actively move towards the truth real? If even this impulse is fake, then what else is left to catch in this world? At the moment when Shen Du died at Songling Pass, he clutched the ear of the piano and said "I chose it myself this time" - the ear of the piano was real. It doesn't matter whether the choice is fake or real. Someone heard it. Someone is listening. That's all.