First Love Is a Long-Lasting Secret Love

After ten years of seeing each other, old friends remain the same The wind in 2010 seems to always carry the fragrance of late summer sycamores, gentle and long, gently blowing through the green years of youth. On the high school campus that year, she was recognized by everyone as the campus beauty. Wearing a clean and stretchy school uniform on her body, she is always more refreshing and neat than others. She wears a simple high ponytail, her eyebrows are clear and gentle, and her eyes are filled with tiny lights when she smiles. She has excellent grades and a bright personality. When she walks in the corridor, everyone she passes by will subconsciously slow down and follow her involuntarily. She was the focus of the evening breeze on the playground, the white moonlight outside the classroom window, and the most dazzling light in that barren and passionate boyhood. And I am the most inconspicuous person in the crowd. I have never been a popular figure on campus. I have no dazzling achievements, no flamboyant personality, cannot play ball, am not good at talking, and cannot attract the attention of others. I have never been the target of ridicule or ridicule. Quiet, ordinary, and transparent have been synonymous with me throughout my youth. To everyone, I am a passerby who will be forgotten if they pass by. Only I know that during countless breaks between classes, after school, and during self-study afternoons, my eyes have always followed the same figure. I am the silent, timid, and inconspicuous suitor hidden in the sea of ​​people. I didn't dare to blatantly show my preference or confess awkwardly and straightforwardly. I could only hide in the back row of the classroom, the corner of the corridor, and the crowd in the playground, and watch her quietly. Watching her laughing and playing with her friends, watching her lowering her head seriously to answer questions, watching her walking forward facing the sunshine, there is a grand and humble love that no one knows in her heart. That love was a chaos of war all by myself. I was so humble that I barely had the courage to raise my head and look directly at her. Time flies by, and ten years flash by. Ten years have smoothed away the timidity of youth and reshaped me into a new person. I have lost the youthful restraint and rustic look of my youth. I worked hard to grow, worked hard, and gained a foothold step by step. I now have a decent career, a stable income, and a glorious resume. I learned how to dress and package, how to speak appropriately, how to deal with things tactfully, how to control my emotions, and how to be measured. Today, I stand in the crowd, calm, calm and well-spoken. In the eyes of others, I have a successful career, outstanding temperament, and impeccable conduct. He is gentle and humble in his treatment of others and reliable in his work. He is a leader in the eyes of his elders, an outstanding person among his peers, and a perfect person with almost no shortcomings in the eyes of others. No one has seen my embarrassing past, and no one knows the cowardice hidden in my bones. Everyone thinks that I am naturally confident, calm and calm. But only I know that under this impeccable and perfect skin, there is always a haze that cannot be dispelled deep in my heart, and there is an inferiority complex that goes deep into my bones and never dissipates. It was the summer of 2010. That small and ordinary boy who did not dare to raise his head and only dared to look up silently will remain in my heart forever. No matter how much glory and dignity I have now, the humility buried deep in my youth has never really disappeared. I thought that in this life, that youthful past, that humble secret love, would forever be sealed in the dust of the old time, and no one would know or touch it. I thought I would carry this perfect shell with me and live the rest of my life insipidly, never having any interaction with the person who lit up my entire youth. Until that ordinary evening, an unexpected reunion shattered my ten-year disguise. People are coming and going in the noisy streets, and the evening breeze is as gentle as ever, just like that summer many years ago. I raised my eyes and met those familiar eyes unexpectedly. It's her. Ten years have passed, and the years have passed gently. She has lost her tenderness as a girl, and has become a little more mature and gentle. Her eyebrows and eyes are still as charming as in her memory. In just one second, the sounds of people, cars, and wind around me all faded away in an instant, and the whole world suddenly became quiet except for the sound of my heartbeat, which was violent, rapid, and loud. Ten years of calmness, ten years of deliberate accumulation, and ten years of careful accumulation of perfection and confidence suddenly collapsed at this moment. I saw her startled slightly, a trace of astonishment flashing across her eyes, and then a shallow wave slowly spread out. Strangeness without surprise, alienation without courtesy. The look in his eyes was very light and slow, with a hint of familiarity that spanned time, and a hint of enlightenment. In that short moment, I knew it very clearly. She recognized it. She saw through my mature and stable appearance, through my glamorous and respectable present, and through the ten years of time gap. She recognized me. I recognized the small and ordinary boy who was hiding in the crowd in 2010, watching her silently and secretly liking her. I pretended to be perfect for ten years and hid my inferiority complex for ten years. In her eyes, there was nothing to hide. Do you need me to help you refine the psychological pull between two people looking at each other to make the atmosphere more satisfying? Concept: Youth and growth of the post-90s generation