Spring Comes Out of Dead Trees

He has low self-esteem and is sensitive by nature. He has been huddled in the corner of the crowd all year round. He is used to being deserted and ignored, until an open and enthusiastic young man crashes into his dark world. The other person is a born little sun, cheerful and pure, treats others with sincerity, and treats him with the most frank and straightforward brotherhood. Waiting for him to eat, helping him out, and sincerely praising him for being interesting were the first times in his short life that he felt unconditional acceptance and preference. He has never encountered such tenderness, falling a little bit, and sincerely considering the other person as his only salvation. During the study night, they slept together in the same bed. The edge of the bed was narrow, so the young man took advantage of the situation and took him into his arms. His warm chest pressed against his back, and his steady heartbeat could be heard clearly. At that second, his heartbeat suddenly went out of order. He realized with horror that he seemed to be attracted to his straight brother. The forbidden heartbeat comes suddenly and breaks down all boundaries. He is trapped in a fierce self-confrontation: the other person is upright, has a heart, and will only treat him as a brother for the rest of his life. But he just developed an out-of-bounds greed and a secret possessiveness. Feelings of shame, despicability, and betrayal piled upon him, and endless self-loathing swallowed him completely. He began to avoid them deliberately, not daring to look at her or respond. Everything related to teenagers has become a shackles: I dare not sit in the classroom, I dare not turn the pages of books, my hands shake when writing, and I dare not click on messages. Reality and heartbeat were repeatedly torn apart, and the somatization symptoms completely overwhelmed him. With no way to escape, he finally dropped out of school in embarrassment and sank into the deep sea where no one heard of him. It wasn't until he was alone in the mountains and seas, confronting himself for a long time, that he uncovered the truth in the ruins: The initial redemption was real, and the heartbeat was real, but what he fell in love with was never just that ordinary and straightforward boy. In a desperate situation, he unconsciously projects, carves, and beautifies, and personally creates his own perfect light source on the other person. A love that started from the heart and ended in an illusion trapped him throughout his youth. When we met again, the young man smiled as before and was as open-minded as before. He was finally calm and relieved. The so-called love is essentially a failure of generosity. You once illuminated my desolation, and your peaceful existence is perfection. Purpose: This article focuses on a one-way relationship between a sensitive young man with low self-esteem, which begins with redemption, becomes trapped in an illusion, and finally becomes self-consistent, to explore the projection psychology and self-reconstruction propositions that are common in intimate relationships. The protagonist receives unconditional acceptance for the first time in his life from the magnanimous and pure kindness of others. However, driven by self-deficiency and spiritual longing, he unconsciously and clearly shapes the other person into the illusion of perfect redemption, and actively indulges in a self-created love that interweaves reality and reality. The story breaks out of the conventional sadistic framework of straight men's sadomasochism and unrequited love. It adopts the gentle and alienated tone of "no one's fault" and opens up the spiritual gap deep in human nature: many deep feelings do not originate from the perfection of the other person, but from one's own ultimate desire for light, redemption, and acceptance. Real others are just carriers. What truly supports people through the wilderness is the spiritual power of self-construction. The article conveys the core theme through the protagonist's complete transformation from fear of reality, escaping from the truth, somatization collapse, complete loss of connection and sinking, to finally deconstructing the illusion and accepting the self: many emotions in life are inherently symbiotic, happiness does not need to rely on reality, and love does not need to be responded to. The so-called growth means no longer asking for light from outside, allowing others to be ordinary, allowing regrets to exist, and allowing feelings to be fruitless. People must eventually fully accept their own emotions, self-obsession, and self-existence among the ruins, and realize their own self-sufficiency and rejuvenation.