The reason for breaking up seven years ago, Shen Nian told her friends was "incompatible personalities" - she needed to confirm that she was loved, and he needed to prove with silence that he didn't need anyone. On the day we broke up, she only replied with one word: "Okay."
Seven years later, she became a psychological counselor, specializing in attachment relationships—studying why people push love away. She saw him at the opening of the art gallery she curated. He walked in through the revolving door, his right hand in his pocket and his left hand slightly open at the side of his leg. She still recognized the way he walked among hundreds of people.
She searched his name that night and discovered that every building he designed—sixteen buildings, in different cities, with different clients, over a span of seven years—had a west-facing balcony. He never explained why.
The museum renovation project put them back into the same conference room. She began to read words from his actions that he could not say with his mouth: his left hand moved five centimeters out of his trouser pocket, he casually placed the pencil on the table no longer at 45 degrees to the table, he blocked a knife for her in front of the client and then used a false measurement as an excuse. He was changing, millimeter by millimeter, but she could count every millimeter.
And what she had to do - this time was not to turn around before he learned to stay.
Purpose: Love is not about finding the perfect person, it is about growing up in a safe proximity. Repair of avoidant attachment is not\\\\\\\\