This is a true story of an ordinary family for more than thirty years.
The story begins in a small, extremely cold county in northern China. A woman born in the 1960s grew up in a family that favored sons over daughters. She witnessed her sister die young because of her gender. She also learned to be strong, independent and resistant in a childhood when she was not favored. As an adult, she thought marriage would be the outlet to change her destiny, but she experienced domestic violence, cheating, control, depression and long-term tolerance in her thirty-year marriage.
As her daughter, I have witnessed the happiness and brokenness of this family since childhood, as well as the kindness and limitations of my parents. After we became adults, my sister and I successively came into contact with psychological counseling, family education, and women's studies, and we began to re-understand our parents, the marriage system, the family of origin, intergenerational trauma, and the complex and contradictory love between people. Ultimately, we accompanied my mother through the divorce proceedings and ended a painful relationship that had lasted for thirty years.
This is not a book that accuses my father, nor is it a book that praises my mother. Everyone in the book is real and complex. They have hurt each other but also sincerely loved each other. They are both victims of the times and unintentional perpetuators of trauma.
Through the story of a family, this book attempts to explore the nature of marriage, family, female growth, psychological trauma, personality development and love.
Perhaps, every family has its own secrets, and everyone who is willing to face the past has the courage to rewrite the future.
Purpose: Feminism