"Li Li Yuan Grass"

The story takes place in Dongying, Shandong Province. It began in the spring of 1996 and ended in the spring of 2013. Song Yunfeng's life began when he lost his father when he was thirteen years old. He had no support from his father for the rest of his life. His mother raised him and his two sisters alone, with no one to support him emotionally and no one to bear his grievances. A few words of reprimand in the workplace would be passed off by others in a blink of an eye, but for Song Yunfeng, who had lacked love since childhood and had already been riddled with holes in his heart, it was a heavy stone that crushed his emotions. I have been embarrassed and depressed for half my life, and I have never had anyone to complain to. He could not learn to resolve his emotions and could not bear the harsh punishment of the world. He could only avoid work time and time again and numb himself by indulging in tobacco and alcohol in order to support his shaky mind. But the embarrassment deep in his heart and the inherent shortcomings he was born with are the secret realm that Fu Qiuling, who has been wrapped in the warmth of her family since childhood and grew up in complete love, can never reach. All Fu Qiuling saw was that her husband was passive at work, smoking and drinking all day long, and neglecting his family. She didn't understand the cowardice and brokenness in his bones, she only saw the desolation and laziness day after day. The estrangement deepened, and unresolved contradictions piled up one after another. Song Yunfeng was unable to argue, and no one understood him. He could only escape more and more, going out to get drunk every night, and often only returned home in the early morning and midnight. Years of depression had no one to take over, and years of alcoholism had completely eroded his brain, damaging his rationality and emotional self-control. The original disability of the young man who lost his father, coupled with the long-standing obsession, completely amplified his loss of control. The marriage that was once full of warmth and fireworks has been devastated by day after day consumption. The collapse that had accumulated for half a lifetime finally turned into anger. Song Yunfeng repeatedly subjected Fu Qiuling to domestic violence, and even broke out in conflicts in front of his young daughter several times, tearing away the last bit of warmth and dignity. He is a poor man and a sinner. Fate loves him, but he destroyed his home with his own hands. Love and hate have been entangled for seventeen years. All the tolerance, estrangement, trauma and loss of control finally made this marriage that started in spring completely shattered in the spring of 2013. Purpose: This story takes Song Yunfeng's half-life trajectory as the main perspective. He lost his father at the age of thirteen, had no support throughout his life, and had accumulated grievances for many years. He could only use tobacco and alcohol to relieve the pain. Long-term brain damage caused him to completely lose control of his emotions, and finally committed the lifelong mistake of domestic violence. The original suffering and destiny are real and palpable, but suffering can never excuse hurting others. The couple's origins and moods are completely opposite, unable to empathize in both directions, and they have consumed each other for many years. This broken marriage is a subject that belongs to them alone. Conflicts, grievances and injuries between parents have nothing to do with the children who are watching. Long-term suppression of emotions will eventually swallow up reason and cause irreversible trauma. There is no need to exhaust yourself to reform people who are trapped in trauma and bad habits. The core of an intimate relationship is two-way understanding. Finally, I sincerely pay tribute to every woman who has escaped from the quagmire of marital violence, emerged from the pain, and rushed to a new life. I wrote about my father's half-life trauma to record the harsh treatment of fate. But mistakes can never be offset, and violence can never be forgiven. Understanding the root cause does not mean condoning the harm.