[This is a self-portrait of an experience. The story is very long and is divided into two sections. It is purely a sharing of growth and has no special meaning. It includes more than six years of my life with this friend "R". Please read it patiently]
An Lingrong is a manifestation of consumptive friendship.
The family of origin has an impact on a person's life.
The ability to solve problems is 0. When encountering things, you are stubborn and stubborn. When faced with the guidance of others, you go from needing others to conditionally asking for them after using them, and rejecting others in a narrow-minded and paranoid way. No matter what, you put off again and again;
Procrastination and stubbornness, combined with R's character background, mean that people like her with flawed character can only draw nourishment from others.
R wants others to see her, but cannot see me and catch me.
R wants me to give more, but she forgets that when she thinks that I am good for her and wants to keep me, she must take the initiative to give. Also, when treating others as an available resource, she must also think about whether she is good for others.
Inferior and sensitive self-esteem, jealous and careless imitation of me, narrow-mindedness and lack of love to ask for things from me, I don't know what are the advantages to me?
So I let go and sunk the cost.
It's enough for me to understand this truth myself. You can't teach it by others.
Let nature take its course and focus on self-cultivation.
Purpose: In a friendship, don't lose yourself, use behavior to determine the relationship, rather than use the relationship to accommodate behavior; I hope you all remember one sentence, and then in the relationship: sunk costs do not participate in major decisions.