His Light

Six years after Lu Xiaoman left, I finally no longer had to look through the peephole at the forever-closed door. I thought I had forgotten. ——Until the first day of high school, in the corridor of Nancheng No. 1 Middle School, the sun was shining slantingly. A tall boy ran past me, bringing up a gust of wind, and the basketball spun in circles on his fingertips. He glanced back at me. That glance felt like the entire summer had been stuffed into my chest. "Classmate, where is the Academic Affairs Office?" His voice was a little lower than in memory, but his smile was still as bright, with two small tiger teeth shining brightly, just like when he was a child when he ran over holding an ice cream and said, "Silence, eat quickly, it's about to melt." He didn't recognize me. I didn't recognize him—no, I did. I just couldn't open my mouth. Lu Xiaoman. It took me ten minutes to get my heartbeat back to normal, and another three minutes to look down at myself: the washed white school uniform, the scratch paper with complicated formulas written on it, and the diary on the desk where I had written "if we can meet again" for three years. He is like the sun, and I am used to standing in the shadow. ——But he happened to be assigned to our class. ——Sitting diagonally behind me. ——Every time after taking an exam, he would look over at my paper and say, "Siren, you are so awesome", and then smile like he was really happy for me. He didn't know that every time he came close, I had to hold on to the pen to keep myself from shaking. He didn't know that the way he called my name was exactly the same as eight years ago. "Silence." "Silence." "Silence, let's go together after school." I rejected him seventeen times. The eighteenth time, he said: "Do you hate me?" I looked into his eyes and suddenly remembered that when I was seven years old, he held my hand and ran through the long alley and said, "Silent, run faster, there is light ahead." I nodded. I went with him. The sunset that evening was very gentle. He walked in front, and his shadow was long and fell just at my feet. I thought maybe I could step on his shadow and walk to him step by step. ——Maybe he no longer remembers that small courtyard. ——Maybe he remembered, but he just didn't recognize the thin and gloomy me as the kid who followed behind him and didn't even dare to speak loudly. It doesn't matter. I just remember him. In the past eight years, I have accumulated a lot of things to say. I want to ask him why he moved away without telling me, and I want to ask him if he still remembers the loquat tree at the entrance of the alley. I want to tell him that the loquat tree has already produced fruit, and the fruit is very sour. But every time he turned his head and the sun fell on his face, I couldn't say anything. In the end, I just lowered my head and pulled down the sleeves of my school uniform to cover the faded red rope on my wrist. He sent it. When I was seven years old, he insisted on tying it on me and said, "Bless you to be safe and stay with me all the time." He didn't know that I had remembered this sentence for eight years. Now, he is in front of me. And I finally mustered up the courage to ask him - "Lu Xiaoman, do you still remember that you owe me an answer?" Purpose: Pure love is invincible