Trouble in Old Age

When people get old, what they fear most is not aging, but disability. Even though he was still awake in his heart, his body collapsed first, eroding his dignity bit by bit. I used to think that old age was just about being slower and more leisurely, watching flowers bloom and fall, and listening to the wind and rain entering the window. But it was only on the day when my hands and feet lost control that I realized that the so-called stability is all based on the four words "being able to take care of myself". Once lost, life changes. You have to wait for help when you get up, you have to wait for help when dressing, you have to rely on others to feed you, and you have to think twice about even going to the bathroom, for fear of bothering others and even more fear of embarrassing yourself. No matter how neat a person used to be, they will gradually become silent, sensitive, and even have low self-esteem under day-to-day care. What I fear most is not the pain, but the feeling of powerlessness. Watching people coming and going outside the window, I can only be trapped in a bed and a chair. The world is huge, but it has nothing to do with me. I can't do what I want to do, and I often hold back what I want to say, for fear of annoying others, fear of being rejected, and fear of becoming a burden to my children. There were obviously many concerns in my heart, but I couldn't even stand up and pour a glass of water. The feeling of frustration and helplessness was hard to explain to outsiders. I will also think about it when I wake up late at night, whether I am alive or enduring in such a day. But after dawn, we still have to have a good time. Someone brings hot water, someone greets softly, someone patiently wipes, turns over, and feeds. These small tendernesses make people reluctant to give up easily. There is no grandeur in life after disability, only trivial persistence and consideration. I no longer pursue dignity and glory, but only seek less pain, less trouble, and more peace of mind. Accept your own clumsiness, accept the decline of your body, accept that you will have to rely on others to live from now on, accept that this life will eventually come to an end in such a soft and fragile way. It turns out that the last lesson in life is not how to live wonderfully, but how to grow old slowly with dignity and peace. No matter how unwilling you are, you can only shake hands with the years and make peace with the years. In the limited freedom, you can keep the last bit of peace of mind. Purpose: To record life after old age and disability