You in my heart are sometimes extremely hateful, and sometimes you are pure and flawless, like the bright moon in the sky, so transparent and pure that it makes people unable to open their eyes.
Over the years, I trapped myself. Missing, pain, jealousy, pity - they are like a snake biting its own tail in my heart, torturing me day and night, but refusing to let go.
I don't want you to pity me. I'm just jealous. Jealous of my former self, who could have you without reservation; jealous that you were by my side, but I was young and ignorant and didn't know how to cherish you; jealous that I took advantage of your best years, but hid in your safe haven, so comfortable that tomorrow would never come.
In fact, love has long since disappeared. Only nostalgia and nostalgia remain. It is meaningless to carve a boat and seek a sword. I'm just kidding myself.
But in these years, not even a second has my feelings for you faded away.
The mountains are high and the rivers are far away, I smile and say to you that the future is long. But underneath those eight words, there was a trembling heart that never dared to love.
I grew up very quickly after you left. I finally realized in hindsight - you have never been happy. You are not the kind of character who is held in the palm of your hand. The difficult existence has wiped out your high spirits, but it has not wiped out your love for life.
And I, until now, still can't accept that you have left.
Purpose: Self-salvation and growth