More than thirty years later, I opened the yellowed diary, and the same boy's name was written on every page.
In the summer of 1991, I was the most inconspicuous ugly duckling in the crowd, sensitive, introverted, and with low self-esteem.
On the sidelines of the basketball court, he looked back unintentionally, lighting up my entire gloomy youth.
I once wanted to choose sports just to be closer to him, but in the end I was assigned to the liberal arts class.
The teaching building is in the east and west, and we have been looking at each other for three years across a long corridor.
I became a top student in liberal arts, but I was overwhelmed by pressure and longing before the college entrance examination.
I made a promise with myself: I won't miss him before the exam, and I will be brave again after the exam.
But in the end, I failed in the college entrance examination, lost my future, and lost the courage to confess my love.
Many years later, I wrote all my thoughts into a letter and sent it to his parents' house.
All he got was a gentle but firm refusal.
There is no beginning, no ending, just my own chaos.
But I have never regretted it.
That quiet, silent, unknown secret love,
It is the cleanest, bravest and most precious youth in my life.
The summer wind is silent, and its thoughts are far away.
Thank you for being here when I was seventeen.
Purpose: Memoir is a healing system for reconciling with oneself