Introduction to the work "Loss of My Love"
Thirty-six-year-old Lin Yiqing has a secret: she has experienced unforgettable love five times, and was "abandoned" every time. Campus poets, entrepreneurial talents, married painters, gentle doctors - they came and went, leaving her alone in the middle of the night asking herself: Why? Is it because they don't understand love, or is it my problem?
But what she doesn't know is that the real answer lies in her twenty-year diary.
This novel, written in a first-person diary style, follows Lin Yiqing's emotional trajectory from the age of twenty to thirty-six, and presents the process of a woman repeatedly drowning in love and repeatedly pushing away rescue. Every sweet first encounter, every subtle rift, every moment when happiness was ruined by her own hands, was faithfully recorded in her diary. And the "ruthless sex" interspersed in it reveals her deeper emptiness - filling the hunger of the soul with physical satisfaction, but each time she becomes more lonely after dawn.
Until the fifth person appears. He asked her something that no one had ever asked before: "How are you feeling?" This simple greeting tore through the defense line that she had built for twenty years. When he finally broke her pattern - "You are not looking for love, you are avoiding love" - she looked back at those diaries for the first time and saw that the person who had been losing love turned out to be herself.
This is not a simple "collection of scumbags", nor is it a cheap self-redemption. This is a story about seeing - seeing your own wounds, seeing your own patterns, seeing that in that locked room, you are actually the only one. With delicate psychological description and restrained narrative rhythm, the novel presents a modern woman's difficult journey of introspection, as well as the double meaning of "losing my love": on the surface, it is the loss of five men, but on the deep side, it is the loss of the "capable to love" self.
When she finally said the three words "How are you" to herself under the March sunshine, a long awakening had just begun.
Intention: How a person destroys every love with his own hands due to inner fear, and after a long period of introspection, starts from "seeing himself" and moves towards possible healing.