Painkillers

Inferior self-esteem, dank male tall × optimism, bright sunflower Some people say that taking too much painkillers can lead to addiction. But no one told me what to do if that person was a painkiller himself. --- When I was seventeen, a shadow suddenly appeared in my life. He spoke very little and always sat in front of me, his eyes covered by his broken hair, and his eyes behind the lenses were so quiet that they were almost transparent. He would push the book on the corner of the table as I passed by - because one time I knocked it off and he picked it up for me. He would close the window behind him when I complained about the cold - thinking I didn't know. He would quietly fill up the water glass on my desk at night when I was on duty - thinking I didn't notice. Later I learned that these "happens" were all footnotes of his silence. Later I found out that his notebook, which was never touched, was filled with me. Only later did I realize that one person can be loved so deeply by another person, so deeply that even breathing must be carefully controlled. So deep - Even saying goodbye, I couldn't bear to cry. --- "Ning Yan." "Huh?" "Whenever you feel pain in the future, just think of me." "... Is it useful to you?" He didn't answer. It took me a long time to understand that what he was talking about was not pain relief; Pain and pain are different. The pain is a momentary sting. The pain is lifelong dullness. What he wanted to stop for me was the former. But he didn't know that from the moment he left, every heartbeat of my life would become the latter. Fortunately, God has allowed us to meet again... --- You are an addiction I can't quit and your only painkiller. ——Ning Yan Some medicines, taken once, are enough to be remembered for a lifetime. You are the only color that refuses to fade in my black and white world. ——Cheng Yuzhou Intention: You are a beam of light that breaks into my dark world, and I want to be your painkiller