Xiao Lindu traveled through time and was bound to a [Death-seeking life-extending system].
The system said: You must complete the designated suicide mission every month, otherwise you will go to heaven. The first task - to molest the most powerful man in the capital in public.
Xiao Lindu looked at the task bar and then at the black prince's ceremonial guard on the street. With a sudden heart, he stopped the carriage, lifted the curtain, and stuffed a handful of melon seeds into the hand of the Living King of Hell in full view of everyone: "Handsome boy, do you want some?"
Regent Xie Chenzhou looked at the melon seeds in his palm that were stained with the boy's body temperature, and was silent for three seconds: "... I won't eat them."
System: [Mission completed! Mental teasing is also teasing, and the reward is life extension for 15 days.
Xiao Lindu:? Your system is quite open.
From then on, there were many wonders in the capital - the second young master of the Anlehou Mansion got into trouble on time every day: releasing a giant goose in front of the emperor, painting a picture of a bastard for the enemy's hostage, and recognizing the prime minister as his godfather. And the legendary regent, who was world-weary and ruthless, was on time to deal with the aftermath every day: fishing for people, wiping people's butts, suppressing impeachment issues, and finally carrying the exhausted Prince Xiao back to the house with a cold face.
The civil and military officials of the Manchu Dynasty discovered that the regent's study always contained the sweet-scented osmanthus cake that Prince Xiao loved to eat; the royal study contained evidence of their "complicity"; and even the sword that never left his body became an armrest for Prince Xiao when he was cheating.
Xie Chenzhou: "What trouble did you get into again?"
Xiao Lindu: "It's really not my fault this time. The system asked me to draw a turtle on your face..."
Xie Chenzhou (handing over the pen): "Draw the left side, and the right side should face up."
This is a story about the perpetrator × the butt-wiper, and it is also the scene where the whole capital gathered to watch how the regent pampered the playboy into an ancestor. The emperor ate melon seeds and watched the opera, the queen mother pressed her head and gave him soft cushions, and even the enemy's craftsmen died of "watching Prince Xiao dance and laugh out loud."
When the truth about the system was revealed (it turns out that the condition for survival is to be loved by the whole world), Xie Chenzhou blocked Xiao Lindu on the dragon pillar: "I am your biggest disaster. If you want to die, you can only do it in my arms."
Intention: Qualification of being loved never needs to be proved by perfection