[First person | Campus Lily | Hate the sea and love the sky | Documentary]
In the first semester of high school, I was divided into arts and science classes, and Liang Qingci and I became deskmates.
The pronunciation of our names is exactly the same, just like fate written by God, it has naturally become the most inseparable existence in the eyes of others. We shared lockers with partitions removed, shared the same buns, hugged each other's wins and losses after every exam, squeezed into the same bed and shared our deepest secrets, were inseparable and talked about everything.
I thought we would spend our entire youth side by side, until she had a new traveler by her side, until she kept it secret from me and got together with a boy that I firmly opposed.
The concealed anger, the grievance of being replaced, and the pain of being betrayed finally turned into what I thought was overwhelming hatred. I tore up our past in the most extreme way: reporting to teachers, breaking up in public, and saying all hurtful things behind my back, forcing our relationship to a point of no return.
Amidst the rumors surrounding the birthday party, I finally softened my heart and apologized to her in public, but I still couldn't catch her from falling. She took a leave of absence and repeated her grade until the next semester. She became the flamboyant "super sister" on campus. She was no longer the well-behaved top student who worked with me on exams.
In the next two years, I repeatedly told everyone and myself that I hated Liang Qingci. I hate her betrayal, I hate her for ruining our agreement, I hate her for abandoning our past like worn out shoes.
It wasn't until I came across her Moments where she officially announced her new relationship that I finally tore open the shell I'd built with hatred for two years—
It turns out that she also likes girls. The possessiveness that surged over the years, those hysterical hurts, and those emotions that I suppressed in my heart were never my obsession with friendship.
Suddenly I felt that I might have liked her at that time.
It's just that this awakening, which was delayed for two years, can only rot in the bottom of my heart. Our story has long stopped at that summer when things fell apart, leaving only a sea of hatred that cannot be overcome, and a sky of love that can no longer shine.
Purpose: cherish the present moment
