Please Tell Me How to Hate Him

During SARS in 2003, he saved my life outside the quarantine gate. In 2010, the corpus luteum ruptured, and he ran into the emergency room with me on his back. That night in the hotel in 2011, the bathrobe slipped off my body, but he turned around and bought back the sanitary napkins. He said: Just because I love you, we cannot be together. He said: I am twenty-one years older than you. When I grow old, you will only be in your forties, so I cannot drag you down. He said: You should be good and stop making so many messes for me to clean up. He kept his promise to take care of my body. Later I married someone else and he returned to the family. We agreed to only send greetings on holidays and miss you in our hearts. Eight years later, my husband's company, White Warrior, was on the verge of collapse. Eight years later, he fainted in the office and suffered a cardiac arrest. I stayed overnight and stayed by the bedside as his "wife." Eight years later, at the celebration reception, his wife and I exchanged WeChat messages, and a line of text popped up on the screen: "You are already friends, there is no need to add them again." Turns out, we never really deleted each other. It turns out that in the past eight years, he would click on my circle of friends that I never updated every few days - just to confirm that I was living well. And I don't update because I know he is watching. I used blank space to reassure him, and he used silence to protect me throughout my life. This is not a simple extramarital affair story. This is the story of how two families, four lives, and eighteen years met, missed, struggled, fulfilled, and finally found the exit in the undercurrent of the twin cities of Shenzhen and Hong Kong. Someone asked: Is the highest form of loving someone a possession or a restraint? Zhiming chose the latter. And it took me eight years to understand—— Some original sins require more courage than forgiveness; some letting go is more affectionate than embracing. Intention: Pain awakens redemption; the inability to hate is the deepest proof of love.