Please Come Closer

——We can finally love each other like this All the stories in this book are about the same thing: how to approach a person cautiously. About my sister, about me. I wrote a lot of words, breaking down the most turbulent emotions and hiding them in the most daily gaps, waiting for you to bend down and pick them up piece by piece. And you. You always catch me. This book took a long time to write. From that glance on the high-speed train, I wrote about the bench by the West Lake, about the street lamp on a rainy night, about the last summer in the bookstore, about the cafe 900 kilometers away, and about this snowy night. I am always writing about you, but I never dare to write about you directly. Just like those years, I was always getting closer to you, but I never dared to really tell you. Later I discovered that the love that I dared not speak out turned into words. Every word asks: Do you know? Every word is waiting: are you waiting too? Now I can finally ask in person. I hold your hand and walk slowly on the snowy night. "Sister," I turned my head to look at you, "do you know when you started writing this book?" You thought for a moment: "Since the first time you came to the bookstore?" "From the moment you raise your eyes." You were stunned for a moment, then smiled. Under the street lights, your eyes are as bright as the sea on the high-speed train back then. "Then do you know," you said, "how long I've been waiting for your sequel?" This time, it was my turn to be stunned. You pinched my palm gently. "Since the day you said, 'Wait until I get smaller.'" The snow is still falling. The wind is cold, but the hands in the pockets are warm. It turns out we were all waiting. It turns out we were waiting for the same thing. ——Waiting for a winter when we can love each other openly. Now, it's here. Intention: This book is not about "I love you", but about "later us". What happened to us afterwards? Eventually we were able to bake cookies together, walk in the snow together, fall into snowdrifts and laugh together. Later, we were finally able to stop saying childish things like "wait until I get smaller" and instead stand in front of each other as our true selves. Then we were finally able to put both hands in the same pocket. The word "later" is all inclusive in itself. It includes the heartbeat of that glance on the high-speed train, the anxiety following behind on a rainy night, the tears when he said "wait until I get smaller" in the bookstore, the cup of cool coffee 900 kilometers away, and every night of the four years of waiting where he hesitated to speak. It also includes the kiss on the snowy night, the phrase "come here soon", and the hand that never let go. Not "I", not "you", but "we". From one person to two people, this road has been a long one. But fortunately, we finally became "us".