Match

After the explosion, Qin Yu lay in the ICU for half a month, and Song Wutan stayed with her for half a month. She didn't tell anyone. She put the ring she hadn't given away into a necklace and wore it close to her body. The cold metal pressed against her heart, just like the sound Qin Yu made every time he wanted to confess but swallowed it back. On the fifteenth day, Qin Yu opened his eyes. Song Wutan stood at the door of the ward and saw the eyes slowly losing light through the glass. Then she turned and walked away. It's not that I don't want to go in. It was in Qin Yu's eyes that she saw the most terrifying thing in her life - not strangeness, but relaxation. Qin Yu looked at the ceiling, the infusion bottle, and the trees outside the window. Every look was the first time. Including when looking at her. Song Wutan squatted down at the end of the corridor, the ring pressing against his collarbone, like a thorn piercing his heart. She suddenly remembered what Qin Yu had said before. It was raining heavily that day, and the two of them hid in the car and waited for the rain to stop. Qin Yu looked out the window and suddenly said: "Wu Tan, if I forget you one day, don't want me anymore." Song Wutan didn't take it seriously at the time and asked why with a smile. Qin Yu said: "Because I have forgotten other things. That feeling is too uncomfortable. It's not that I don't remember, it's that I thought those things were not important, but when I thought about them later, I realized they were important. That kind of hindsight guilt is more painful than losing it directly. I don't want you to hurt." Song Wutan squatted at the end of the corridor, tears falling but making no sound. She didn't cry. Didn't get in either. Half a month later, the police psychological symposium was held. She watched Qin Yu push the door open and dig into his palms, pinching the bleeding marks. Qin Yu sat opposite and looked up. Song Wutan made all preparations. She was ready. Qin Yu didn't remember her. She was ready and said with a smile: "This is our first meeting. I am Song Wutan." The only thing she wasn't prepared for was—— Qin Yu glanced at her, then quickly lowered his head. She was too familiar with that lowering movement. That's what Qin Yu will do every time his heart beats and before he says he's not worthy. She forgot about her. But her body still remembered. I remember my heartbeat, and even more so, I remember "I don't deserve it." Song Wutan sat still, flipping through materials and taking notes, without looking at Qin Yu again during the whole process. It's not that I don't want to see it. She was afraid that if she saw too much, she would pull the idea of ​​"not worthy" out of Qin Yu's mind in front of everyone, throw it to the ground, and crush it. Then he said: Qin Yu, please listen to me. You deserve it. It's me who doesn't deserve you - I don't deserve you who likes someone so hard and still feels like you're not enough. Purpose: Anti-drug is a "war to the death". I am not me, but a faith forged by thousands of remnant souls. In the name of light, I will guard the night without fear.