Lovelorn Withdrawal Period

"On the first day, I scolded him online. On the seventh day, I decided to write this book." My name is Xiaofan, I am twenty-two years old, and today is the seventh day since I fell in love - although strictly speaking, we have never really been together. His name is Xiaodang, and he is two months older than me. We met in the summer when we were sixteen, in the same class and at the same table, and six years slipped through our fingers. We have solved math problems together, shared the same pair of headphones, counted stars on the playground on summer nights, argued with red faces and made up inexplicably. It wasn't until this spring that I discovered that those people with racing hearts, following eyes, and worrying about gains and losses, turned out to be more than just "best friends." So I told him to use all the courage I had in the past twenty-two years. And he just kept silent and said, "I don't know." The next half year was a slow one. When I chase, he retreats; when I advance, he hides; when I stop, he gets closer. Until last week, in the cold wind of the twelfth lunar month, we had an intense quarrel over a trivial matter. He said "let's all calm down" and blocked me. I blocked him too, with an almost self-destructive pleasure. This was the beginning of my "lovelorn". This book is my withdrawal diary. On the first day, I posted our story online and described him in the most vicious terms. Strangers liked and commented, saying, "This kind of man should have been thrown out long ago." I looked at the screen and cried because I knew I was lying. The next day, I dug out my high school mathematics textbook and learned from set functions to solid geometry. Numbers and graphs will not betray me, they have a unique solution. I stayed until three in the morning, my fingertips were numb, thinking that I could use the formula to cover up all the memories about him. On the third day, I went to the stationery store and bought thirty sets of papers. The writing sounds rustling, like some kind of sedative. After each set, mark a box off your calendar. The more time you cross out, the closer you will be to forgetting him, right? On the fourth day, I trained the character we raised together in the game to the seventh place in the county. He said before that if I can get into the top ten, he will treat me to dinner. Now I really did it, but no one even shared the screenshot. On the fifth day, I took the initiative to meet a new boy for coffee. I kept nodding while he was talking, but I was actually thinking: When I was a kid, I always liked to add three cubes of sugar to my coffee. On the sixth day, I went to watch a horror movie alone. Couples cuddled and whispered in the darkness, hugging each other when they screamed. I held my popcorn tightly, and when the most terrifying scene appeared, my first reaction was to turn around and tell him, "Don't look." Today is the seventh day. I bought this notebook. I don't want to get back together - the scars are too deep and a broken mirror cannot be put back together. I don't want to escape anymore - wherever I escape, my memory will follow. I just want to be honest about this journey of withdrawal: How does one quit another person? When that person has long become a habit of your breathing. This is a story about love, dependence, self-loss and reconstruction. There are two male protagonists, one is escaping and the other is chasing; one is forgetting and the other is remembering. And we are all learning the same thing: how to learn to be alone again in a world without each other. Maybe the day I finish writing this book, I will be able to truly step out of that summer when I was sixteen. Or maybe, you'll never get out. One by one This book is adapted from the author's personal experience. There are not many words in the whole book. The emotional tone is gloomy and the style is reminiscence. If you don't like reading this kind of book, you can just leave it. I hope it won't affect the good mood of the babies. Purpose: When a deep emotional bond (whether it is defined as "love" or not) is forcibly ended, how do people face that loss, how to place the person who once occupied an important position in the heart, and how to find their complete self again.