Quit Nan Feiyan

With the background of reform and opening up, more and more young people from the north are leaving their hometown and going to the south to work. Self-destructive tendency, arrogance, wife-chasing, ice cellar, student attack 2012·Watching my wife's date, I disliked my wife and pinched her old man's undershirt with two fingers. 2017· After being rejected by his confession and being cut off from his wife for seven years, he suffered a major attack of separation anxiety and stopped pretending to be aloof, holding his stolen wife's sweatshirt over his lungs every day. —— Summer 2012 Yan Ping gasped and straightened up. A few steps away, he saw Yang Min still standing in the shadow of the old locust tree. Yangmin held something loosely in his hand - the white undershirt he had taken off. When the wind blew, the fabric floated emptyly, like some kind of quiet, hollowed-out 's skin. The white undershirt was empty, the fabric was very soft, and the fabric hung loosely at the waist. It stuck to the body and floated away when the wind passed. The wide round neckline slumps down at an angle, revealing a large piece of collarbone and a small piece of tanned shoulder. The armpits on both sides are also open, and the side seams are cut all the way to the waist. The wind got in from there, blowing the thin white cloth on the back slightly, like a fragile sail. Looking through the open armholes, one can see a large area of ​​exposed skin under the armpits, reddened by the heat. You can see the traces of the ribs rising and falling with the breathing, you can see the lines of the shoulder blades looming with the breathing, and you can see the empty waist outline underneath, blurred into a shaking white in the shadow. This is Yanping's body. Yan Ping walked over and put his hands covered with blood and dust on Yang Min's shoulders. The cloth is dry, but it carries a sultry smell, similar to that of gunpowder smoke, mixed with the smell of blood like rust. This is the heat after strenuous activity, mixed with a bit of dust and the smell of grass stems that presses heavily into the breath. Yang Min frowned, but his body honestly froze for a moment without any obvious signs of movement, and he did not pull away. "Did you see that?" Yan Ping said to the ear of this little brother who came from the big city, his breath was still heavy, but he chuckled with the unique pride of youth, "From now on, mention my name in this area. ———— 2025·Winter Yan Ping was interrupted by Yang Min just as he was about to explain. "... It's not just that I rode a horse..." Yang Min scratched his head with both hands and choked on his words again, "It's not that I only broke off contact with you for a few years... I am... I am every minute and second when you are not with me..." Yan Ping was stunned. "You said I'm crazy. Yang Min walked up to Yan Ping step by step, poked his temples with his fingers, and smiled instead, "You think I haven't gone to Xiehe to have a brain scan?" " "I just got poisoned by you. Follow your way. You just poisoned me, do you know that? What do you know? You just let me..." Yang Min gritted his teeth, tears streaked across the corners of his grim mouth, "You've made me addicted. "     Yan Ping tightened his lips and subconsciously took a step back: "... Sorry. I didn't know you had reached this point..."      "Sorry, sorry, you don't know a lot, I don't even know myself -" Yang Min grabbed Yan Ping's wrist and took another step forward. "Originally, I thought I was just indulging in the life in Hebei during the summer vacation, so I took the hospital certificate to take a long leave to stay in Hebei, so I went to Hebei to buy houses, but I still felt... I was still itchy, do you understand? 'Itch'. " Yang Min stared at Yan Ping's face and then looked away. His usually sharp words now became rare and difficult to express. He even started to make gestures with his hands. "It's just something you can't get enough of, you know? " "The more I scratch my heart, the more anxious I become. Do you know this feeling? I thought I would never see you again in this life. I felt so uncomfortable that I was going to die. I was suffocating. Don't I want to go back to a normal life? I feel bad... I'm going... Do you think I didn't get to know other people here? "Yang Min pointed to one side with his other hand, "Didn't I get to know the drivers at vegetable markets, buses, and taxis? Aren't I happy talking to them? But...'It's not as good as it is', do you understand? " Yan Ping did not dare to look directly at the central government.     Yang Min stared at Yan Ping, his lips trembling slightly, bending down, looking down and waiting for Yan Ping to speak. After a long while, Yan Ping finally said with difficulty: "... What certificate did the hospital issue? " Yang Min stared at Yan Ping and pursed his lips. Separation anxiety. In fact, he has always had severe separation anxiety from Yanping.  But Yan Ping has never felt this kind of emotion, his personality is relatively obsolete and old-fashioned, and he probably doesn't even know the name of the psychological disease. How can he understand it if he says it? Yanping had been having fun with his friends in the Wheatfield Steel Factory since he was a child. He only knew that he fell and bruised his leg and needed medicine. How does he understand that people can also become psychologically ill? How to make him understand that the more highly educated and knowledgeable people are, the more accustomed they are to self-suppression and insecure. The more respectable you are, the more likely you are to be anxious and addicted to bad things. Because there is also a certain tendency to self-destruction, it is easy to give up on yourself when you are addicted, and it is very difficult to quit. But how can Yan Ping understand this special physiological need? "Yan Ping. Yangmin's voice became softer instead. He slowly put his hands down and clasped his fingers together semi-forcibly. He spoke in a deep and calm voice, with a perverted desire for aggression in his eyes, but he couldn't refuse and hit Yan Ping's familiar memory word by word, "What's in my pillow is your old vest that I stole." "  Yan Ping's face dropped in embarrassment. He remembered the way Yang Min sucked the pillow uneasily on the screen. The blood burned from the collarbone down the neck to the roots of the ears, and the skin was hot and red. Yang Min's eyes fell on the exposed skin under Yan Ping's collar. His eyes were calm but cloudy, and all he was thinking was despicable. ———— This is an impossible self-rescue The withdrawal of the central government is a tragic and self-war that is doomed to failure. Because what he is quitting is not a person, but a part of himself. Quitting Yan Ping means putting on that decent elite mask again, returning to the world that he thinks is like a golden cage, and denying everything he sees, feels, and identifies with through Yan Ping. But his addiction is an identification that runs deep into his bones. His desire for Yanping has transcended love and become a deep recognition of the value of another life, another land, and another class. Being forced into withdrawal was a near-death experience for him. Those seven years were the period when the central government tried to quit. He works and socializes normally and only seems to be back on track. Until the addictive substance appears again - that is when the antidote is found again. All the cold sarcasm and fierce accusations from the central government are the total outbreak of pain during the withdrawal period. I hate and need, I hate Yanping for all the pain caused by withdrawal reactions, and I need Yanping for a complete life that transcends class limitations. This southern flying goose is no longer an outsider to the central people, but has flown into his bloodline, becoming another eye through which he looks at the world and settles himself. To quit him would be to blind these eyes. Therefore, we can only live and fly together with this heavy "addiction". ​ ​—— "That fellow of yours..." Yang Min paused, "He cares about you quite a bit. " Yan Ping finally stopped and turned around to look at him: "What's wrong? " "What's wrong with scaring me? Yang Min purred like a joke, laughed again, hugged me tighter, and said with a bit of luck and pride in his tone, "He looked at me like an old hen guarding her cubs - he was wary of me, a weasel." " Yan Ping also smiled, and there was a little sadness in that smile: "Hey, he has been like that since he was a child. ... I was also brought up by him. " Yes, not surprising. There are swallows in the swallow nests in Hebei. The big swallows fly away and leave behind a nest of left-behind children, the little swallows. The little swallows raise the little swallows, and only new swallows appear every year. "He actually doesn't hate you. Yan Ping said suddenly. "I know. Yang Min smiled and said, "He's afraid that I'll take you away." " Yan Ping said nothing, but took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit one. The fire was clearly extinguished on his face. "I won't leave. "Yan Ping just said in the end.    Yang Min seemed to finally understand why Yan Ping wouldn't follow him at that time. He seemed to really understand what Yan Ping said that people should do their own things first.   Yang Min sat next to him, looking at the corners of Yan Ping's eyes that were also reddened by the alcohol, looking at the pair of eyes that reflected the complex concerns of his hometown, and suddenly realized with unprecedented clarity that Yan Ping was more than just his Yan Ping. And if he, an "outsider" from Yanjing, wants to truly enter this land and enter the deepest corner of this person's heart, he may have to go far beyond the distance of a double bed. Purpose: beautify the image of workers and peasants in online literature (take a look)