After we broke up, I changed all the notes in Lin Zhan's address book to "Han Xin".
He asked me what I meant.
I said: "Han Xin orders troops, the more the merrier. Don't your job, your predecessor, me, and the cats and dogs in this house all have to wait for your arrival?"
He looked at me and couldn't say a word.
Later we went to court over the custody of our two cats and three dogs.
I submitted fourteen pages of Excel detailing each pet's feeding records and emotional dependency data.
He submitted thick medical notebooks and handwritten growth diaries.
After listening to our arguments, the judge rubbed his temples and said, "What are you doing here to divide pets? This is fighting over children in a divorce."
Later, he did something that no one expected.
This famously calm cardiac surgeon opened the door in the middle of the night with our once-spare key and tried to steal our first dog.
I was standing in the living room holding the puppy that had just been fed, watching him holding the dog in his arms in the hallway.
"Dr. Lin," I said, "How long is the sentence for burglary?"
His eyes were red, he buried his face in the dog's hair, and his voice was hoarse:
"... It kept pushing buttons and asking me where I was."
Text third person
Purpose: Family harmony, children's health