As an online article writer, I have two habits that are incompatible with this industry:
First, I am keen on deleting and modifying things I have created (this does not include the novel itself), deleting my account, and clearing out all traces I have left in a certain place. I have been fighting this habit for a long time, and I have cycled it several times. I will probably default to losing after being overwhelmed by it at some point, raise the white flag, clear it with one click, and leave. This hurts, but there's nothing I can do about it.
Second, I intermittently avoided people, and felt that it was very scary to show what I wrote to everyone, and it made me very uneasy. This is equally hurtful, but I have to avoid it.
However, the nature of the novel itself naturally creates a conflict with these two habits of mine - every time I publish a new chapter, I will say to myself with a complacent attitude: The protagonist and the story have come into being and happened in this way, and have been seen by others. They are not allowed to be deleted, and there is no way to delete them. The story can continue to develop like this, there is no if line, and there is no turning back!
This confrontation makes me miserable and happy.
The above two habits may make it difficult for me to be a stable and reliable author in the eyes of readers. Yes, even the copy of this essay I can't tell when it will be revised. But I still want to publish it while I can stop deleting it.
The reason is that I read something tonight and gained some courage.
I want to give it a try. Maybe opening my heart is not so scary.
(This article does not guarantee the survival time)
Purpose: Live well
