Nian Nian

In the eyes of many people, Song Niannian's youth should be shining. She comes from a wealthy family and was sent to that prestigious century-old private school by her parents. She deserves to be looked upon with envy. Only she knows what kind of cautious and cautious bones are hidden under the smooth school uniform. Her world is a glass cocoon carefully polished by her mother, Xu Qian. Every performance is related to family dignity; every choice is stamped with the mark of "for your own good". Love has become the most exquisite discipline. When she was sixteen, Zhou Xu suddenly burst into her sight like a distant cold star. The seven-day "love" was as hasty as an illusion, leaving her not with sweetness, but with a more subtle coldness. It was not a violent storm, but a silent chill, a dodge of eyes, perfunctory words, and alienation. This cold violence called "first love" made her constantly ruminate and doubt in the next three years: Was she not good enough to deserve any warmth? In the gray years, Su Hansu was the only source of heat. Those secrets shared in corners of the campus became the softness that Song Niannian first learned to rely on. The college entrance examination was the first cocoon she broke out of. She tried her best to escape far away, studied clumsily, and tried to reassemble herself with excellent results. In college, she reunited with her childhood friend Jiang Yulan. Yu Lan has a freedom that she dare not expect. She talks about the lights of New York and the aurora in Northern Europe, and runs towards the vast world without stopping. She is the projection of Song Niannian's "ideal self" deep in her heart. She is dazzling, but it also illuminates her even more alone. In the chaos of graduation, Lin Huaizheng appeared. He is gentle and elegant, with the appropriateness and cleanliness bred in the ivory tower. His pursuit was like a spring drizzle, gradually moistening her dry emotional desert. She thought she had grasped the cable leading to "normal" happiness, trusted her with peace of mind, and even began to paint a picture of a stable future for the two of them. However, cracks came quietly. The unsavory links in her father Song Zhiyuan's cell phone "accidentally" drifted into her dialog box; her mother Xu Qian's control followed her everywhere. From job selection to life rhythm, everything must conform to the "perfect daughter" script she set, and everything was still in the name of love and respectability. Her younger brother Song Xu'an's dependence always revealed a hint of demandingness behind the warmth, quietly sucking away the energy she had just accumulated. As for Lin Huaizheng's safe haven, water began to seep inside. Her gentleness gradually turned into avoidance, and appropriateness became an unquestionable framework. Her world gradually tightened, trying to drag her into a stability lacking sunshine. Those subtle denials and emotional neglect, like the southern plum rain, penetrated her silently, making her feel a kind of dampness that was more piercing than loneliness in the name of love. Finally, on an ordinary sunny afternoon, looking at her back that was habitually suppressed again, a clear voice rose from the bottom of my heart: Stop. Breaking free from a deep-seated relationship is like peeling off a part of yourself. After the severe pain, he felt sober as never before. She began to give all her eyes and strength back to herself who had always been compromising. She immersed herself in studying, and in the difficult legal classics, she drew clear boundaries for her desolate heart. The light that is always on for the postgraduate entrance examination no longer illuminates the track to please others, but her own, rugged but determined road up the mountain. She no longer tries to fill her father's twisted emotional void or play the perfect role in her mother's fantasy. She calmly faced the bondage and demands in the name of love. After a long period of anger and sadness, she finally understood: some blood ties are like moss attached to bones, and there is no other way but to keep distance. She will still love her brother, but she has learned to refuse excessive consumption and encourage him to find his own fulcrum. When she received the admission notice from a top political and law university, her palms were slightly moist. This thin piece of paper was the first mountain foundation she built for herself through countless lonely days and nights. Here, knowledge enriches the mind and independent will tempers the spine. She was like a vine that had grown attached to it, but finally groped and transformed itself into a tree that could stand alone and face the wind and rain. Then, on a calm autumn day, she met Xiao Chiyu. There were no unexpected waves, he was like a breeze that just blew away the mist, warm, clear and natural. He admired the scars on her broken cocoon and understood the veins of her wings; he approached calmly, but always respected the mountains, rivers and boundaries she had drawn. In front of him, she could finally be just Song Niannian—the complete, growing, and not necessarily perfect Song Niannian. This time, when ripples appeared in her heart, the first thing she felt was no longer a confused attachment or a dizzy loss. Standing on the mountain she built, she could clearly see the good feelings gathering naturally like a stream. She has learned how to first embrace every ravine in her soul, and then, calmly and with gentle determination, stretch out her smile to another independent wilderness. The butterfly breaks free not from darkness, but from a cocoon that appears to be light. What she flies to is the boundless but free sky. At the end of the story, she stands at a new starting point, holding not anyone's salvation but her own infinite possibilities for the future. The wind blew past her ears, and she finally heard clearly that it was a clear and strong heartbeat that was unique to her. Intention: When love turns into discipline, when warmth reveals coldness, how many times does a person have to experience silent collapse before he can learn not to identify himself in the eyes of others?