[Tsundere with a hard mouth, severe future evaluation, anxiety, low self-esteem, sensitive, awkward puppy attack]
When Zhao Xun became emperor, he mainly focused on showing off.
Is the country half in ruins? Casual. Is there a war going on at the border? Just make do with it. He didn't care about the life and death of the people, or the survival of the country. The only thing he was afraid of was those few lines in the history books - he was afraid that future generations would say that he was neglecting the government, and he was afraid that future generations would nail him and the drug-addicted imperial brother to the "faint king" column.
So he pretends. Pretend to be diligent, pretend to be concerned about the country and the people, criticize and scold ministers every day, and mainly attack a bastard. Until one day, a voice suddenly popped up in his head.
"Ding - the current stupidity value is 100%. Congratulations to your majesty, the achievement of being infamous for ten thousand years has been achieved. If you want to change the evaluation of future generations, please work hard to save the country, otherwise you will face punishment. Of course -" the system's voice paused, "In view of the upper limit of your majesty's capabilities, the system will provide off-site assistance as appropriate."
Zhao Xun: "For example?"
System: "For example, spoil some future records for His Majesty."
"According to unofficial records, the emperor was actually a hermaphrodite, possessing both male and female parts. Whenever there was a situation of death in the court, the emperor would disembowel the palace and throw it in the palace to frighten the officials. When the crisis was resolved, the palace would return to its original position and the abdomen would be closed as before."
Zhao Xun:? ? !
"According to unreliable unofficial records: General Lu Zheng had a strange weapon in his body, and it was very majestic. Zheng tried to summon the emperor to enter his tent, and held it all night until dawn. The emperor sobbed that he could not speak, and burst into tears. The next day he supported the wall and came out. Later generations called it 'Long Qianyuan'."
Zhao Xun was so angry that he found among a pile of memorials the letter recommended by Northern Lieutenant General Meng Zhao Shangshu: Commander Lu Zheng is brave enough to win the three armies, his loyalty and bravery are commendable, and he can be of great use.
"Call! Call him back to the capital!"
In the face of his great ambition, Zhao Xun took advantage of Lu Zheng without mercy. Ye Shi said that this person will be a famous general in the future, so invest in advance. As for what Lu Zheng thinks - he doesn't care, as long as it works.
Lu Zheng began to distance himself from him. Stand far away, talk little, and never look at him. Zhao Xun thought it was a sense of boundary, but later he realized that it was suppressing hatred.
What he didn't know was that from the day they first met, those images kept flashing through Lu Zheng's mind. Veteran minister Zhang Yun held the emperor's toes in his mouth. He pressed the emperor on the imperial desk, and the dragon robes were scattered on the floor. The emperor was on the couch, his eyes were red and his voice was broken.
Lu Zheng went from being disgusted to avoiding him, to finally becoming awkward and wanting to stay by his side at all times.
Zhao Xun: As a royal guard, what are your responsibilities?
Lu Zheng: Protect Your Majesty at all times.
Zhao Xun's forehead jumped, and he looked at the two bodies tightly touching each other: Did the bastard protect you in my bathtub?
Later one day, Zhao Xun saw him holding a medicine bag and placing it on the case. I asked the imperial doctor that this medicine regulates menstruation. After a pause, he added that bisexual bodies can also be used.
Zhao Xun was stunned for a moment, and a question slowly appeared in his mind.
"... Get out!"
2026.07.17 The copy has been screenshotted
Note
1. This article is an imaginary background, and all characters have no historical prototypes.
2. The unofficial histories appearing in this article are all fabricated and have no direct direction. Some unofficial histories are collected from the Internet, so please be careful in your judgment.
3. Don't dismantle, don't rebel, don't dream
4. Do not join the party based on research
5. Feeling is not bisexual
Intention: Qing Shi is ill
