"Chen Ruyuan, you must always get what you wish for."
"Xie Yuheng, you are so beautiful."
In the eyes of others, Xie Yuheng was a man of great talent and talent, with sharp features and high spirits. He filled my entire youth with a passionate love, but suddenly left the scene at his most dazzling age, smashing my whole world to pieces. For many years after that, I was trapped in my memories and repeatedly touched his traces, thinking that I would only be lonely for the rest of my life. Until that rainy day, I bumped into someone who looked exactly like him, named Jiang Fengnian, in the second-hand bookstore I frequented. The similar silhouette, the same pear pattern, and even the gesture of turning the pages overlapped with my memory. I exhausted all my courage and chased her like I was grasping a life-saving straw. I clumsily relived the past and tried to get closer. Finally, after pulling myself in countless times, I waited until Jiang Fengnian said "I like you." But just as the relationship was getting stronger, the obstruction from his family poured down like cold water. We said goodbye hastily at the place where we first met, and we never heard from him again. Later, I often thought of the dazzling appearance of Xie Yuheng standing on the podium, and the tender moment of Jiang Fengnian lowering his head to hold an umbrella for me, overlapping in my mind. The two emotions were like sand in the palm of my hand, the more I tightened my grip, the more it drained away. In the end, the old person became a monument and the new person became a mystery. I guarded the room full of old things and fragmented memories, sinking repeatedly in countless lonely days and nights. Throughout my life, I was unable to get out of the long shadow, nor was I able to meet any replacement light.
Intention: The Paradox of Obsession and Redemption
