Spring in Kunshan always carries a gentleness that is unhurried. Magnolia grandiflora blooms all over the streets and alleys of Yushan, and the air is filled with the familiar aroma of meat in sauce. It is your favorite flavor, and it is also the smell that is most profound in my memory. Whenever the seasons change, I always wander around these familiar street corners unconsciously, as if you just walk away temporarily, and the next second you will come towards me with a smile from the crowd.
But you are no longer here.
My joy for you has never been deliberately concealed. Maybe the whole world can see it clearly, but you always pretend not to see it. You are like the magnolia that is like spring all year round, filling my world, but you never want to stay for me. I once thought that as long as I knew you well enough, I could keep you, and any excuse could make you stay with me. But your determination to leave is stronger than any words. Destiny has allowed us to meet each other, which is already a luxury. How dare I expect you to be completely mine?
Over the years, I have traveled to every corner of Kunshan, including Yangcheng Lake, Wusong River, and the old streets where we played together when we were children. You used to always appear at the place we agreed on, but now I am the only one left, wandering in my memories. When the moonlight filled the river, I wandered along the border between Suzhou and Kunshan, looking forward to meeting you again at a familiar corner. But no matter how I search, your figure has long disappeared in the sea of people.
In this city, every memory becomes a wound that cannot be healed. Tears condensed into beads on the cold night, dripping on the continent in the north where the temperature was minus three degrees Celsius, and also dripped on my heart. Tenderness is like a knife, piercing my chest, gouging out my heart, and carving "I'm sorry" on it. I can only deceive myself by falling in love with you, saying that I have never liked you. In fact, I have already fallen in love so much that I can't help myself. In the depth of my love, I am left with only loneliness.
Why can't I forget every bit of the past? It was you who gave me a new perspective on life, and also made me understand that some fetters have already been destined. I wish I didn't know you from the beginning, so I wouldn't have the obsession I have today. But the choice of fate has made us inseparable from each other. I swim across the vast galaxy and look at all the stars, but I still can't find the answer you left.
In recent years, it is not meaningless to be sentimental. At least it made me understand that everything was the best arrangement. I can lie to everyone and say that I have never loved you. Only in this way can I spend the rest of my life quietly and let love in this world become something that no longer exists for you.
But whenever magnolia grandiflora blooms and the aroma of sauced meat wafts, I still think of you.
Gu Nanxi, the bustling south wind is blowing, but my love for you has long been worthless.
Purpose: When the person you love cannot ask for it, remember to smile and face the fact that you cannot ask for it.