Xiang Miuzhan once thought that he had all the secrets of Xu Lianwan.
He knew what hidden past was hidden under the replaced identity, and what a barren and inferior soul was wrapped in that cold skin.
Those unknown fragility and tenacity were like fine needles, silently piercing into the softest place in his heart.
So, at that dusk, he handed over the self-righteous "salvation".
"Xu Lianwan,"
"Come home with me."
He remembered that Xu Lianwan nodded slightly, and that inaudible "hmm" filled his whole heart with unprecedented ecstasy and anticipation.
Perhaps he gave him the cruelest revenge that night - disappearing without a trace after one night.
At first I was angry and confused.
But three years have been enough for all the intense emotions to settle into deeper understanding and love.
He thought that his Lian Wan was probably scared.
Afraid of light, afraid of commitment, afraid of all the beauty that cannot be grasped.
It doesn't matter, he can wait, he can pretend as if nothing has happened.
As long as Xu Lienwan can feel safer, he can even seal that past with his own hands and pretend that they never started.
He could say nothing about the promise of that night and the "home" he treasured in his heart.
He even thought humbly that as long as Xu Lienwan was safe, even if Xu Lienwan wanted to erase everything, he could cooperate.
Because to Xiang Mi Zhan, Xu Lianwan's wishes are his world.
When they met again at the university, Xiang Mi Zhan suppressed all the overwhelming emotions into a deep sea of calm.
His Lian Wan is still like an easily frightened bird, so he will become the most stable branch.
He knew that Xu Lianwan was afraid of being the center of attention and felt inferior to his own existence.
In the group photo that must be submitted to the club, everyone is smiling brightly, except Xu Lianwan, who is looking stiffly at the camera.
After Xiang Mi Zhan got the photo, he did two things:
First, the faces of all the people in the original picture were blurred, leaving only the quiet boy, who kept this photo on his bedside.
On the club photo that needs to be publicized, a soft and cute kitten is gently drawn next to Xu Lianwan's drooped cheek, gently resolving the incompatibility.
He didn't have to force himself to smile.
He knew that Xu Lianwan was timid and afraid of attracting trouble and attention.
When Xu Lianwan slipped and knocked over the plate in the noisy cafeteria, the soup splashed down, and the eyes around him gathered, his face instantly turned pale and he froze in place at a loss.
Xiang Mi Zhan immediately stepped forward, turned sideways without leaving a trace, and blocked all probing eyes for him with his back.
He gently pushed Xu Lianwan to a safe position behind him and whispered: "Don't move."
Then, he squatted down very naturally, and calmly picked up the mess on the ground under the gaze of everyone.
He didn't have to face any embarrassment on his last night.
He knew that Xu Lianwan was not good at communicating with others and was afraid of unfamiliar contact.
So he reserved a place in advance for him in the corner of the library where he often goes.
Will "just happen" to help him block the over-enthusiastic club recruitment of new seniors.
He would even carefully greet the aunt in the cafeteria in advance. If he saw a very white, thin, and quiet boy coming to get his meal, please give him more of his usual tomato scrambled eggs.
He never asked, "Why do you always keep your head down?", Let alone said, "You have to be brave."
He just silently and continuously built a transparent fortress for Xu Lianwan to breathe peacefully.
He accepted everything about him - his silence, his timidity, all his inferiority and uneasiness that he could not express openly.
Until one evening, he sent Xu Lianwan downstairs to the dormitory again.
The setting sun stretched their shadows long.
Xiang Mi Zhan stopped and said in a normal tone, as if he was discussing the weather: "It doesn't matter if I stay late and never go home again."
Xu Lianwan raised his head, his eyes were a little red, his lips moved, but in the end he did not speak.
Xiang Mi Zhan looked at him and smiled slightly, his eyes as gentle as melting snow.
"Come up," he said, "see you tomorrow."
He knows that some wounds just need silent companionship to heal.
And he has plenty of time.
——
Gentle attack × inferiority complex
HE/Mild Abuse/Reunion/Pure Love
Monologue to Mi Zhan:
"Lian Wan is really cute, you know?"
"You'd be dead if I knew."
Xu Lienwan's monologue:
"In his photo album,"
"It seems like it's just me."
Purpose: You should find someone who is as kind as you and will feel sorry for you when he sees you suffer.
