I am born in the 1990s, standing in the transitional zone between the old and the new world: on one side is the traditional root system of my parents' "stability first", and on the other side is the brilliant bubble of social media's "self-promotion". My life follows the "old rules" - going to school, falling in love, getting married, and having children. I am a "stable specimen" in the eyes of others, but I hide my "new world" ambition for economic breakthroughs. I also rely on "being kind to others and suffering losses is a blessing" to resolve grievances, fearing that a little disturbance will break the balance.
Marriage is the biggest contradiction: we look forward to the blessed intimacy, but we are also afraid of losing ourselves by becoming a "wife or mother". This tug of war took eight years of love. When romance was replaced by inertia, I broke the script on an ordinary afternoon: "Get the certificate on May 1st, hold the wedding on November 1st", but hit the first wall - after the groom's family received the certificate, there was no news about the wedding. My family did not dare to ask because of "decentness", and I was labeled as "hate to marry".
Preparing for the wedding has become a guerrilla war for me. My future parents-in-law "don't spend money, don't worry, and don't prepare." My "talisman" is completely ineffective. But this book is not just about marriage, it is about my record of the dilemma of the post-90s generation: finding a dynamic balance between tradition and freedom, expectations and self. If you have ever had doubts while "step by step" and got tired while sticking to yourself, this story is yours too.
Concept: family, marriage thinking