That day was the first time Xiao Yan met Wen Xiyue in his life.
"Let's get married."
In the study room of the Hou Mansion, Wen Xiyue looked into his eyes and said these words firmly.
Xiao Yan seemed to remain calm, but he was extremely shocked in his heart.
They don't know each other at all?
What kind of marriage?
A month later, the two got married.
(Xiao Yan: "...")
After getting married, Xiao Yan began to slowly get to know his wife.
She is ruthless.
Wen Xiyue had just sent him out of the house and affectionately called him husband.
As a result, Wen Xiyue went straight back home before he even got on the carriage, without even wanting to look at him.
She has few desires.
No matter how tempted he was, Wen Xiyue had no ill intentions towards him and even gave him two Buddhist scriptures to ask him to restrain himself.
She is tough-talking.
Wen Xiyue was obviously sad, but she pretended to be fine and always shed tears secretly alone.
After getting married, Wen Xiyue also began to slowly get to know her husband.
He talks a lot.
Xiao Yancheng was obviously taciturn before getting married, but he didn't expect that he would often talk about it after getting married, which was really annoying.
He is childish.
She just glanced at the most beautiful man in Beijing a few more times, and Xiao Yan wrapped herself up like a silkworm chrysalis, lying on the bed and sulking against the wall.
He is fragile.
Xiao Yan looked cold and calm, but in fact he had nightmares every night and would not sleep until she held his hand.
On an ordinary night two years later, Xiao Yan recalled the day when the two first met.
He looked at the lady in his arms and sighed: "You actually dared to propose marriage for the first time you met me."
Wen Xiyue thought for a while and replied with a guilty conscience: "Actually... That day was not the first time I saw you."
Xiao Yan: "Have you been plotting against me for a long time?"
Wen Xiyue responded seriously: "It took two full days of planning."
Remarks:
1. Full text overhead 1V1 SC HE
2. Marriage first, love later, relaxed Machiavellian writing, micro-group portraits
3. The ratio of plot line and emotional line is 6:4
Intention: The road is long and difficult, but the journey is about to begin
Reader comments
This is my first time writing a long review, so some of the words may be a bit sharp.
(1) In terms of plot setting, some plots can be suspenseful. For example, in the episode where Xiyue's parents were assassinated, Xiyue accidentally overheard a conversation between the man in black and someone in the prime minister's house while feeding the cat. The "Wen family" was directly mentioned in the conversation, making it easy for readers to guess the follow-up, so that they felt uninterested when they saw the plot of Xiyue returning home to see her parents being assassinated. You made the plot too clear, which made the originally powerful plot of Xiyue's return home seem too flat. It's like a spoiler. Readers already know everything in advance, so it doesn't make much sense to write about this plot again. A few concise sentences will not make the paragraph too lengthy. After all, readers are not here to study literature professionally. What readers want to see is the unknown behind the suspense, not what they already know. It does not mean that they want to see how the already known plot will be presented in the author's writing.
It is indeed not a good comment to only give opinions without suggestions. Regarding the questions I raised, I think there are the following two ways to modify them.
The first is to change the sentences in the murderer's dialogue, for example, from directly naming "The Wen family" to "One person asked: 'Has it been done?' 'There were only two people, and it was handled very cleanly.'" Using two people to indirectly point to the Wen family couple would not As for letting readers know directly, you can also add a few words about the Wen couple's integrity, such as "The other person paused, a bit jokingly, 'Master said that family is honest, but if it is true, there is not a single servant in the house -' before he could wait. After saying that, the door closed..." This will make Xiyue more keenly aware that something may have happened at home, and it will also give the Wen couple a clean image, and at the same time explain that only one man in black took action (the rest can also be set up) People are in the dark, but in this way, the dialogue here seems inappropriate). If he is more boastful, it will also point out the evil of the villain who knows that the Wen family is honest and honest but still harms them, and the character of the man in black who talks too much may pave the way for solving the case later.
Second, concisely summarize the plot of Xiyue returning home and discovering that her parents are dead (because you have already stated it clearly before, Xiyue, as a smart person, could not have guessed it), focus on Xiyue's actions after discovering that the suspicion (something happened at home) was correct, and reflect her image of being calm in the face of danger (although this may not be in line with the image of a growing heroine). If possible, write that she is actually very scared, but she has to do this for her family to catch the murderer.
If it is for the reading experience, I prefer the first one. But of course, I am just a reader, and the life of the work is given by you. Moreover, with your ability, the character of Xiyue is also established later. As a reader, I just hope to add color and polish to the work of the author I am optimistic about.
(2) Xiyue and Xiao Yan meet for the first time. Generally speaking, the encounter between the male and female protagonists in romance novels is usually a big one, and the first encounter in the article is also peaceful (if you prefer the type where you don't feel anything after meeting each other and only fall in love after a long time, skip this).
It can be set up that Xiyue already knew that Xiao Yan was very concerned about the military ration fire case, so she secretly learned some of the truth on her own (she secretly learned about it from her friend's father, such as peeking at the files, and there was a gap in information with the male protagonist, and she could investigate on her own if she had the ability). The first encounter between the two could be a chance encounter set up by Xiyue. She secretly revealed her interest in the ration fire case, which aroused Xiao Yan's interest. While providing some clues, she not only tested Xiao Yan's character, but also threw chips for future fake marriage cooperation: Xiyue's bargaining chip was the information about the ration fire case, and the reward she asked for was that Xiao Yan helped her investigate the case. In this way, a smart heroine can be created (she meets Xiao Yan by chance to arouse her interest, and then forms an alliance with her), and it can also better explain why Xiao Yan agreed to Xiyue (Xiao Yan's reason for inheriting the title in the original text is a bit weak), and in this contract, the two are evenly matched. With information and a common goal, Xiyue will never have the upper hand in this transaction - it's not that she must be Xiao Yan (even if she really must be the male protagonist, but it is recommended not to write like this), describing it at your level will definitely be better than my description.
(3) Small logical problems.
1. Xiyue and Xiao Yan entered into a fake marriage contract. I feel that this contract is of no use. First of all, it is only signed and abided by Xiyue and Xiaoyan. There is no enforced effect (does one's own conscience count). Even if one party violates it, there seems to be no consequences, and if it is exposed later, it will easily lead to right and wrong (this is a bit cliche).
2. The Wen family's motive was to clear the name of the former empress. If it is just to clear this poor woman's name, this motive is okay, but it is not very reasonable. Why clear her name? Is it just because she is pitiful? It would be really pitiful if two lives were really lost for this. Moreover, this is a person from the previous dynasty. As an official, it is okay to learn from history, but trying to rectify the name and praise a concubine from the previous dynasty is indeed suspected of being rebellious. If this is foreshadowing, I hope it will be revealed earlier if possible, or a few more related suspenses will be set up, otherwise it will look really strange.
3. Cui Xiangguo's motives. It is understandable to engage in the military ration fire case, but it is very strange to kill the Moon couple. If it is foreshadowing, I hope the text will give more explanations secretly. From the front, it seems that he has been obstructing, but the explanation is too little and lacks convincing motivation. Such a description is like a brainless villain, which will only hinder the progress of the protagonist. However, there is never any reason for this obstructive behavior, and it does not reflect the shrewd image of Choi Sang Guk.
4. Lin Yi's malice toward Xiyue. Girls do not have to be constrained by thoughts (such as the idea that marriage between two parties whose identities are not very matched means that the woman is seducing, and that it is shameful for a woman to become pregnant before marriage). You do not need to fall into such ideological quagmire. With your talent, you can attack it from aspects such as talent and ability. After all, the women in your novels can also serve as officials. They are all birds and have seen the possibility of flying into the sky. There is no need to stick to marriage and chastity. Their sky is broad.
5. Why go to Tianquan Villa? Maybe I was quick to read, but I really didn't find the purpose of their going here. Was it to celebrate the Queen Mother's birthday? Didn't read clearly.
(4) Writing style. Your writing is clean and concise, making it easy to read. The whole article does not often contain lengthy and redundant descriptions. You can tell a story smoothly and describe lovely characters like Xiyue and Lin Yi, which is difficult for many new writers to do. However, There is a lack of emotional pull between Xi Yue and Xiao Yan. The relationship tied by marriage forces her and him to be accommodating and tolerant in some aspects. The pull between marriage first and love later largely comes from the requirements and restrictions this marriage relationship places on both parties.
I know that you don't need to completely revise it according to my review, because you don't have to, the story is good enough, and the revision will have an impact on your follow-up. I am not the leader of this story, and I don't want this story to be completely dominated by me. A story written by you is what a reader is willing to expect.
I hope you can continue writing and keep working hard.
Quan should be living a full and cherishing life, living up to the readers' expectations, or not forgetting that there is a reader like me who writes long reviews.
Is this sentence missing?
Then Ah Yue doesn't have to dislike him. Ah Yue doesn't need to subject herself to the love of others. Her beauty is not stacked up by the love of others, nor is it all given by others. Ah Yue is beautiful in her own right. Ah Yue is a bit contemptuous of herself here. Without the beauty that Xiao Yan has brought to her, she is also capable of creating the same beauty.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, baby, I have been waiting so hard for you, and you finally came back to update.
This is my first time writing a long review, so some of the words may be a bit sharp. (1) In terms of plot setting, some plots can be suspenseful. For example, in the episode where Xiyue's parents were assassinated, Xiyue accidentally overheard a conversation between the man in black and someone in the prime minister's house while feeding the cat. The "Wen family" was directly mentioned in the conversation, making it easy for readers to guess the follow-up, so that they felt uninterested when they saw the plot of Xiyue returning home to see her parents being assassinated. You made the plot too clear, which made the originally powerful plot of Xiyue's return home seem too flat. It's like a spoiler. Readers already know everything in advance, so it doesn't make much sense to write about this plot again. A few concise sentences will not make the paragraph too lengthy. After all, readers are not here to study literature professionally. What readers want to see is the unknown behind the suspense, not what they already know. It does not mean that they want to see how the already known plot will be presented in the author's writing. It is indeed not a good comment to only give opinions without suggestions. Regarding the questions I raised, I think there are the following two ways to modify them. The first is to change the sentences in the murderer's dialogue, for example, from directly naming "The Wen family" to "One person asked: 'Has it been done?' 'There were only two people, and it was handled very cleanly.'" Using two people to indirectly point to the Wen family couple would not As for letting readers know directly, you can also add a few words about the Wen couple's integrity, such as "The other person paused, a bit jokingly, 'Master said that family is honest, but if it is true, there is not a single servant in the house -' before he could wait. After saying that, the door closed..." This will make Xiyue more keenly aware that something may have happened at home, and it will also give the Wen couple a clean image, and at the same time explain that only one man in black took action (the rest can also be set up) People are in the dark, but in this way, the dialogue here seems inappropriate). If he is more boastful, it will also point out the evil of the villain who knows that the Wen family is honest and honest but still harms them, and the character of the man in black who talks too much may pave the way for solving the case later. Second, concisely summarize the plot of Xiyue returning home and discovering that her parents are dead (because you have already stated it clearly before, Xiyue, as a smart person, could not have guessed it), focus on Xiyue's actions after discovering that the suspicion (something happened at home) was correct, and reflect her image of being calm in the face of danger (although this may not be in line with the image of a growing heroine). If possible, write that she is actually very scared, but she has to do this for her family to catch the murderer. If it is for the reading experience, I prefer the first one. But of course, I am just a reader, and the life of the work is given by you. Moreover, with your ability, the character of Xiyue is also established later. As a reader, I just hope to add color and polish to the work of the author I am optimistic about. (2) Xiyue and Xiao Yan meet for the first time. Generally speaking, the encounter between the male and female protagonists in romance novels is usually a big one, and the first encounter in the article is also peaceful (if you prefer the type where you don't feel anything after meeting each other and only fall in love after a long time, skip this). It can be set up that Xiyue already knew that Xiao Yan was very concerned about the military ration fire case, so she secretly learned some of the truth on her own (she secretly learned about it from her friend's father, such as peeking at the files, and there was a gap in information with the male protagonist, and she could investigate on her own if she had the ability). The first encounter between the two could be a chance encounter set up by Xiyue. She secretly revealed her interest in the ration fire case, which aroused Xiao Yan's interest. While providing some clues, she not only tested Xiao Yan's character, but also threw chips for future fake marriage cooperation: Xiyue's bargaining chip was the information about the ration fire case, and the reward she asked for was that Xiao Yan helped her investigate the case. In this way, a smart heroine can be created (she meets Xiao Yan by chance to arouse her interest, and then forms an alliance with her), and it can also better explain why Xiao Yan agreed to Xiyue (Xiao Yan's reason for inheriting the title in the original text is a bit weak), and in this contract, the two are evenly matched. With information and a common goal, Xiyue will never have the upper hand in this transaction - it's not that she must be Xiao Yan (even if she really must be the male protagonist, but it is recommended not to write like this), describing it at your level will definitely be better than my description. (3) Small logical problems. 1. Xiyue and Xiao Yan entered into a fake marriage contract. I feel that this contract is of no use. First of all, it is only signed and abided by Xiyue and Xiaoyan. There is no enforced effect (does one's own conscience count). Even if one party violates it, there seems to be no consequences, and if it is exposed later, it will easily lead to right and wrong (this is a bit cliche). 2. The Wen family's motive was to clear the name of the former empress. If it is just to clear this poor woman's name, this motive is okay, but it is not very reasonable. Why clear her name? Is it just because she is pitiful? It would be really pitiful if two lives were really lost for this. Moreover, this is a person from the previous dynasty. As an official, it is okay to learn from history, but trying to rectify the name and praise a concubine from the previous dynasty is indeed suspected of being rebellious. If this is foreshadowing, I hope it will be revealed earlier if possible, or a few more related suspenses will be set up, otherwise it will look really strange. 3. Cui Xiangguo's motives. It is understandable to engage in the military ration fire case, but it is very strange to kill the Moon couple. If it is foreshadowing, I hope the text will give more explanations secretly. From the front, it seems that he has been obstructing, but the explanation is too little and lacks convincing motivation. Such a description is like a brainless villain, which will only hinder the progress of the protagonist. However, there is never any reason for this obstructive behavior, and it does not reflect the shrewd image of Choi Sang Guk. 4. Lin Yi's malice toward Xiyue. Girls do not have to be constrained by thoughts (such as the idea that marriage between two parties whose identities are not very matched means that the woman is seducing, and that it is shameful for a woman to become pregnant before marriage). You do not need to fall into such ideological quagmire. With your talent, you can attack it from aspects such as talent and ability. After all, the women in your novels can also serve as officials. They are all birds and have seen the possibility of flying into the sky. There is no need to stick to marriage and chastity. Their sky is broad. 5. Why go to Tianquan Villa? Maybe I was quick to read, but I really didn't find the purpose of their going here. Was it to celebrate the Queen Mother's birthday? Didn't read clearly. (4) Writing style. Your writing is clean and concise, making it easy to read. The whole article does not often contain lengthy and redundant descriptions. You can tell a story smoothly and describe lovely characters like Xiyue and Lin Yi, which is difficult for many new writers to do. However, There is a lack of emotional pull between Xi Yue and Xiao Yan. The relationship tied by marriage forces her and him to be accommodating and tolerant in some aspects. The pull between marriage first and love later largely comes from the requirements and restrictions this marriage relationship places on both parties. I know that you don't need to completely revise it according to my review, because you don't have to, the story is good enough, and the revision will have an impact on your follow-up. I am not the leader of this story, and I don't want this story to be completely dominated by me. A story written by you is what a reader is willing to expect. I hope you can continue writing and keep working hard. Quan should be living a full and cherishing life, living up to the readers' expectations, or not forgetting that there is a reader like me who writes long reviews.
Is this sentence missing?
Then Ah Yue doesn't have to dislike him. Ah Yue doesn't need to subject herself to the love of others. Her beauty is not stacked up by the love of others, nor is it all given by others. Ah Yue is beautiful in her own right. Ah Yue is a bit contemptuous of herself here. Without the beauty that Xiao Yan has brought to her, she is also capable of creating the same beauty.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, baby, I have been waiting so hard for you, and you finally came back to update.