"I don't deserve to say love at all, do you understand? I can't say pain either. Pain is reserved for those beautiful people."
"Why do you look down on yourself so much?"
"It's not that I look down on myself, but that I hate myself. I hate myself for being so weak and incompetent."
That was probably the first time she said such words to herself. Big tears kept falling from her face. This is probably the first time she has cried like this in front of her.