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183 恒 Hengji Fengjie Xuanyuan Domineeringongoing —Reads5.8Score—Shelves

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The Woodcutter and the Stone House: The Law of Attraction Hidden in Human Nature A young woodcutter, Amu, lives in the deep mountains. He goes up the mountain with a hatchet on his back to cut firewood every day, but he always feels that his life is miserable. He watched the businessmen at the foot of the mountain making big deals by touting each other, watching the hunter in the village convince everyone with his strong bones, and watching the scholar in the neighboring village who didn't talk much but everyone respected him. He was full of confusion: Why are some people living with their own light, while others are like moss in the corner, and no one wants to take a second look? On this day, Amu carried firewood down the mountain again. Passing by a mountain col that he had never seen before, he discovered a stone house covered with ivy. The door of the room was ajar, and he opened it curiously. There was an old man with white hair and beard sitting inside, holding a clay pot and making tea. "Young man, you frown, what's bothering you?" The old man said with a smile. Amu put down the load of firewood and sighed: "I don't understand why some people are naturally lovable and everything goes smoothly?" The old man pointed to the stone bench opposite: "Sit down, drink a cup of tea, and I will tell you five stories, and you will understand." The first story: Carpenter and scholar, praise without retort is high emotional intelligence. There was a carpenter in a neighboring village who was very skilled in craftsmanship, but he always offended people because of his direct words. Once, he built a desk for a scholar. The scholar touched the wood and said, "The texture is really beautiful. Look at the texture, does it look like a landscape painting?" But the carpenter said blankly: "What a landscape painting, it's just an ordinary fir tree. It was a little crooked when it was cut. It took me a lot of effort to level it." Later, the carpenter changed his temper, and when he was making furniture for others, when someone complimented him, he no longer refuted it, but instead said, "You have such good taste. I picked this material for three days, and this one is the most even. When you told me, I realized that the lines are really spiritual." Gradually, the neighbors said that the carpenter could talk. Even though his craftsmanship had not changed, the order was not scheduled until half a year later. The old man picked up the tea cup and blew on the hot air: "Many people think that high emotional intelligence means flattery, but it is not. The scholar said that the desk is like a landscape. It is not that he does not understand wood, but that he is sharing his own aesthetics. The carpenter's rebuttal seems to be telling the truth. In fact, it is to block the other person's emotions. Not to refute is to accept the other person's kindness; and to praise is to send this kindness back. You see, the mountain stream never touches the stone, but it can flow around the stone all the way to the sea. " Amu nodded, remembering that every time he chatted with his neighbors, he always liked to correct other people's opinions. No wonder people didn't like to talk to him. The second story: The blacksmith and the bully, rebellion and strength are the foundation. There is a blacksmith in the town, Lao Tie, who is tough and never bows his head. Once, a bully in the town came to the blacksmith shop to cause trouble, and asked Lao Tie to give him a sword for free. He also threatened to destroy the shop if he didn't. The apprentices in the shop were so frightened that they hid behind, but Lao Tie held a red-hot iron, stared at the bully and said, "I beat the knife for the soldiers who protect our country, not for people like you who bully the people. If you dare to smash it, I will burn your hand with this iron." The bully looked at the fierceness in Lao Tie's eyes, and then looked at the anvils piled behind Lao Tie with countless farm tools and weapons. Knowing that this was a tough guy, he walked away in despair. Later, the neighbors all said that Lao Tie had a backbone. If anyone was bullied by bullies, they would come to Lao Tie for support, and the business of the blacksmith shop became more and more prosperous. "But being rebellious without strength is the courage of an ordinary man." The old man continued, "If Lao Tie was just shouting slogans and didn't even have a decent hammer in his hand, the bully would have smashed his shop long ago. Rebellion is your bottom line, and strength is your armor. Look at the green pine on the edge of the cliff. It bends when the wind blows, but its roots are deeper than anyone else's. No matter how hard your waist is, you must have the confidence to hold it on." Amu touched his hatchet and remembered that he was lazy every time he chopped firewood. He refused to sharpen the knife even when it was dull. No wonder he couldn't cut a load of firewood after half a day of cutting. The third story: Scholars and passers-by, the bottom line of talking less is tension. Lin Mo, a scholar at the foot of the mountain, usually doesn't talk much, but everyone respects him. Once, two families in the village had a quarrel over land boundaries. The village chief invited many people to mediate, but to no avail, and finally invited Lin Mo. Lin Mo arrived at the scene and after listening to the quarrel between the two families, he only said one sentence: "The world is dead, but people are alive. If we hurt the peace for a few inches, what's the point in not looking up and seeing each other again?" After that, he sat next to him and drank tea, and didn't say anything more. But what he said was like a stone thrown into the water. The quarrel between the two families gradually became quieter, and finally they took a step back and reconciled. Someone asked Lin Mo, why didn't he say a few more words to persuade them? Lin Mo said: "When they argue, they don't listen to any reason. If they talk too much, they think you are partial. I will only say one sentence that hits the point, and let them figure out the rest." The old man looked at Amu: "To talk less is not to be indifferent, but to not talk nonsense; to have a bottom line is not to be stubborn, but to stick to principles. Many people are not sure what they say. One day they say something and the next day they say something else. They also like to give other people random ideas, which makes people feel unreliable. But Lin Mo is different. He usually doesn't talk much, but when he speaks, he gets to the point, and he never gets involved in other people's private affairs. People think he is stable and are willing to believe him. It's like an ancient well in the mountains. It's usually quiet, but everyone knows there is a clear spring hidden in it. " Amu remembered that he always liked to talk useless gossip and always inquired about other people's affairs. No wonder no one wanted to have a close relationship with him. The fourth story: Medicine woman and patient, the boundary between indifference is respect. Granny Li, the medicine woman in the village, usually doesn't like to join in the fun. She never gets involved if the family's parents are troubled, but when people in the village get sick, she is the first one they look for. Once, Aunt Wang, a widow in the village, fell ill. Her husband died young and her children were young. The family was in chaos. Someone was gossiping about Aunt Wang behind her back, saying that she was not a woman. Granny Li heard this and did not agree with her. She just silently gave Aunt Wang medicine and sent her dried vegetables to her, but she never asked her much about her family affairs. After Aunt Wang recovered from her illness, she told everyone she met that Granny Li was a good person, saying that she didn't dwell on her own private affairs like others. "Indifference does not mean being unkind, it means not crossing the line; being nosy is not indifference, but respecting other people's privacy." The old man said, "Many people think that the closer they are to others, the better, but once they cross the line, it will make people disgusted. Just like the village you planted. If you always like to dig up the soil to see how the roots are growing, the crops will not grow well. People are like hedgehogs in winter. If you get too close, you will hurt each other, and if you stay too far away, you will feel cold. Only by keeping a proper distance is the most comfortable. " Amu remembered the last time he saw his neighbor quarreling, and he went up to ask questions. As a result, the neighbor said, "None of your business." Now he realized that he had crossed the line. The fifth story: The shepherd boy and the old scalper, progress without asking for anything in return is the light. There was a shepherd boy named A Niu at the foot of the mountain. His family was poor and he had to herd cattle and cut firewood every day, but he never complained. Once, a child from a neighboring village fell into the water, and A Niu jumped in to save him without saying a word. The child's parents wanted to give him money, but he waved his hand and said, "It's easy, no need to pay." Later, A Niu still herded cattle and chopped firewood every day, but he always liked to learn to read from passing scholars, learn crafts from passing carpenters, and learn hunting from passing hunters. Some people laughed at him for being stupid, saying that he didn't get any benefits from helping others, so he still learned these useless things. But a few years later, A Niu used the skills he learned to open a small shop in the town. Those who had been helped by him came to support him, and his life became better and better. "Giving without asking for anything in return is not stupid, it's your kindness without purpose; being proactive is not utilitarian, but your own confidence." The old man said, "Many people help others and expect others to repay them. If they don't get it, they feel resentful. Such kindness has become a burden. But A Niu is different. He saves people out of his heart and makes progress for himself. His kindness is like sunshine. He does not ask others to repay him, but he naturally warms others and illuminates himself." Amu looked at his hands and remembered that every time he helped others a little, he hoped that others would help him next time. If others didn't help, he would feel uncomfortable. No wonder no one wanted to make friends with him sincerely. After listening to the five stories, Amu suddenly understood and bowed deeply to the old man: "I understand. It turns out that the so-called attraction is not innate, but the principle of life." The old man smiled and nodded: "The five major attractions in human nature are never some profound magic, but the duty of being a human being: don't refute other people's kindness, catch the other person's emotions with praise; be rebellious, have more hard power, and keep your own confidence; have a bottom line, don't talk much, and say every sentence to the point; have boundaries, don't get involved in other people's private affairs, and leave enough space for each other; be kind, don't seek repayment, and at the same time, don't give up your own growth." Amu walked out of the stone house, the sun was shining on him, he was carrying a hatchet, but his steps were much lighter than before. Later, he no longer liked to gossip. When others praised him for chopping wood quickly, he no longer refuted. Instead, he smiled and said, "You still respect me." Gradually, the neighbors said that Amu had changed and was no longer the young man who loved to complain and argue. Everyone is willing to talk to him and ask for his help. Some businessmen even ask him to do business as a partnership. Amu's life is becoming more and more prosperous. Many people always think that attraction is good-looking, good-talking, rich and powerful, but as the old man in the stone house said, real attraction is hidden in the details of human nature. High emotional intelligence is not about being slick, but about knowing how to catch other people's emotions; charm is not about being arrogant, but about being confident; sexual tension is not about being aloof, but about being principled and calm; sense of boundary is not about indifference, but about respect that does not cross the line; emotional value is not about trying to please, but about kindness without purpose and the power of upward growth. Just like that stone house in the mountains, what is hidden is not gold and silver jewelry, but the simplest truth of life: the kind of person you are, the kind of people you will attract. If you bloom, the breeze will come; if you bring your own light, you will naturally illuminate yourself and warm others.

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