Jiang He transmigrates into a book, becoming a cannon-fodder concubine-born daughter in an old-fashioned melodramatic novel. The System tells her she'll freeze and starve to death in three months.
She counts it out on her fingers. Three months without having to work? That's a blessing. Time to lie flat.
So she sets up a stall selling dried radishes, planning to wait peacefully for death.
But then...
The Grand Secretary sends over a cartload of charcoal: "I heard the wind comes through your room."
The Grand Secretary sends over a basket of fish: "I heard you can't afford meat."
The Grand Secretary sends over two boxes of rouge: "I heard you think the things I send are too plain."
Jiang He: "???"
She only wants to be a lazy fish, but this big shot keeps chasing after her to feed her.
The Grand Princess sneers, "A concubine-born daughter sure knows how to climb the social ladder."
Jiang He: "Your Highness is right. I'll go home and dry radishes at once."
The Grand Secretary: "No need. I happen to like women who know how to dry radishes."
Later, somehow, she marries into the Grand Secretary's residence, manages the storerooms, investigates corruption, opens a foundling home, and provides relief to disaster victims, all while sorting out the court and the inner household. By the time she realizes what's happening, all the noblewomen in the capital are calling her "Madam Pei."
Jiang He squats at the foot of a wall, crunching on dried radishes, and laments to the System: "I just wanted to lie flat. How come the more I lie flat, the busier I get?"
The System flashes a line of text: [Host, you're the sort of person who can't lie flat, no matter where you are.]
Later still, Jiang He squats at the foot of the wall, her nose stinging as she says, "System, are you stupid?"
The System replies: [The System is not stupid. The System calculated that it was worth it.]
This is the story of a lazy fish who is forced into becoming the Grand Secretary's wife through the combined efforts of the System, her husband, and the entire court.
The heroine builds her fortune on dried radishes, the hero wins fans with his sharp tongue, and the System cheats its way to godhood.
A friendly warning: if you feel like drying radishes while reading this, the author takes no responsibility.
