The day I was sentenced to death, my defense lawyer found me and asked me to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.
Me: “What if there's nothing wrong with me? Wouldn't that be a waste of money?”
Lawyer: “Ms. Wu, you've already been sentenced to death. If your appeal fails, you won't be able to use that money anyway.”
Me: “Oh, right. If I am mentally ill, can I be acquitted?”
Lawyer: “...You have quite the imagination.”
Me: “Then you need to go back and study some more.”
Lawyer: “If you could show a more sincere attitude toward your confession and genuinely ask the victim's family for forgiveness, I think that would cut down my workload considerably.”
Me: “I livestreamed it for the whole internet! How is that not sincere???”
Lawyer: “...”
Her client was definitely mentally ill, and there was a good chance her death sentence would be commuted to a suspended death sentence.
