Jiang Li transmigrated into Journey to the West and became a green bamboo tree in front of the Cave of the Slanting Moon and Three Stars. Patriarch Bodhi casually transformed him into a gatekeeping child. While others struggled through bitter cultivation, he slept. Then he awakened the [Heavenly Dao Lie-Flat-and-Share System], which bound him by karma to Sun Wukong, the Heaven-Mandated Workaholic. The harder the monkey worked, the more Jiang Li profited by doing nothing! The monkey carried water while he sunbathed, and Jiang Li was the one who advanced. The monkey weathered tribulations while he drank wine, and the divine abilities went to him. When Sun Wukong caused Havoc in Heaven and was imprisoned beneath Five Elements Mountain, Jiang Li simply lay flat his way to becoming the foremost powerhouse of the Three Realms! Five hundred years later, the monkey set out on his journey west. All Eighty-One Tribulations became Jiang Li's "paid vacation milestones": The Black Bear Spirit attacks? One bamboo leaf and it's dead! Guanyin schemes? The script falls apart on the spot! At last, the calculating Tathagata loses his temper and personally descends on Mount Fangcun to put him on trial. The lazy bamboo gatekeeper finally gets up and stretches. "You're keeping me from sleeping." With a casual wave of his bamboo branch, the Nine-Rank Golden Lotus falls to the ground! The Three Realms are stunned: Weren't these supposed to be tribulations on the pilgrimage for scriptures? How did all the merit get claimed by a gatekeeping child who just lay flat?!
