Siheyuan: Anyone Who Touches Me, I’ll Turn Myself In

He woke up to find himself the most useless layabout in a courtyard house in Nanluoguxiang. All the old beasts in the courtyard were scheming to leave him with nothing and seize his three main rooms.

But they had no idea that Song Heping had acquired a self-surrender System where the more trouble he caused, the longer his sentence became, and the longer his sentence became, the richer he got!

When the First Uncle tried to morally blackmail him, Song Heping pulled the alarm instead: "Report, sir! He incited me to violate public morals. I voluntarily confess in hopes of lenient treatment!"

When Qin Huairu tried to borrow food, Song Heping shouted in the street: "Someone is tempting me to commit an offense against public decency! Hurry up and lock her up with me!"

Watching police cars park outside the courtyard every day, all the neighbors were terrified and fell to their knees: "Please, little ancestor, just shut up! We'll even pay you, okay?!"