At Forty-Five, Two Men Pursued Me, and I Chose Neither

The author's creative insights Writing this story stems from a very simple question: A woman is forty-five years old, her husband has been gone for seven years, her children have grown up, she has money and leisure, should she find another one? Many people will think, isn't this a good thing? If two men are chasing each other, just choose one. But what I want to write about is exactly what is behind "can't choose". It's not that Shen Ruoyun doesn't want to choose, it's that he doesn't dare to choose. She was afraid that she would be laughed at if she chose the wrong one, that she would be sorry for the dead person if she chose the right one, that she would appear callous when she was happy, and that she would appear pretentious when she was sad. These fears are not hers alone, but are shared by many middle-aged women. They are taught to be "sensible", to "take into account the overall situation", and to "live for others". Over time, they no longer even know what they want. So I set up a situation for Shen Ruoyun to have everything: money, a house, a bookstore, a son, and a best friend. She has no shortage of people to support her, no shortage of things to do, and no shortage of people to chase her. What she lacks is the idea of ​​"allowing herself to live for herself". He Mingcheng and Lu Ye, one makes her feel at ease and the other makes her happy, but neither peace of mind nor happiness are what she really needs. What she needs is to stand firm. At the end of the story, she chose no one. This is not an escape, it is a choice. She chose herself. This is not a story about "an independent woman rejects love", but a story about "a person must first understand himself before he is qualified to talk about anything else". It took her seven years to understand Gu Weizhen's words "Don't live alone" - it's not about don't live alone, it's about don't lock yourself up. After writing this story, my biggest feeling is: the most difficult thing in life is not meeting the right person, but meeting the right yourself before meeting anyone else.