Fairy Tail: Start by Wiping Natsu's Butt

My name is Cole, an S-class mage from Fairy Tail and a full-attribute magic user. But you may not believe it, but my biggest source of income is writing books, including but not limited to: "Ten Little Tips for Celestial Magisters to Know", "Twelve Signs of the Zodiac: Three Things That Leo and Aries Have to Say", "Three Words to Make the Celestial Magister Chase Me", "The Female Celestial Magister Who Lives Next Door"... He has dominated the best-selling list in the magic world for fifteen years, and is known as the most profitable magister. When you ask me why I work so hard? Because I am also the biggest creditor of the entire guild. Natsu blew up half the port? I pay. Gray strips off in the middle of a fight? If the impact is bad, I will apologize. Can Kana tear down the tavern after drinking? I still pay. I couldn't bear it for one day, then for two days, and after ten years I really couldn't bear it anymore! "When you are returning from a mission, can you please stop causing sabotage? Do you know how much compensation you have to pay per month?!" Everyone in Fairy Tail looked at each other, and then said in unison: "No!" "Why?!" Natsu stepped on the table and flames burst into flames: "No destruction, no Fairy Tail!" Gray tore off his shirt: "No destruction, no Fairy Tail!" Erza quickly pulled out her sword: "No destruction, no Fairy Tail!" The entire guild roared in unison, and the roof almost fell off. I opened my mouth, and my blood suddenly rushed to my head "No destruction, no Fairy Tail!" ... Wait, why should I shout after you? !